Transit Heart
by EJ Masen SARW
Summary: He lives on a small reservation in La Push, Washington. She's an anomaly even among her own kind. There are those who don't believe she should exist. For one to love the other would be an abomination. But change is coming. Can they unite once hated rivals
1. A New Kind of Werewolf

Edward POV

Chapter 1

We had been patrolling the forest all night. We were exhausted, but pleased. It was all clear. Of course, it typically was. It wasn't often that vampires ventured through this little piece of the Olympic Peninsula.

We felt a shimmering in the air, and suddenly Sam was in our minds.

_Alright, guys. Pack it up and head home._

We felt more shimmering as the rest of the pack changed.

_Jared, Paul, Seth, Leah, and I will take over now. Go get some sleep. I'll need all of you running on all pistons tonight for the meeting with the bloodsuckers,_ Sam continued.

The guys and I chuckled. Quil was dying to sink his teeth into one the leeches.

_Quil,_ Sam warned. _We have to honor the treaty. We _do not_ attack them unless they attack first._

_Yeah, ok. Sorry, Sam, _Quil resigned. We could all tell he wasn't really sorry, though. Thankfully, Sam let it go.

_Hey, Sam. Can we at least head to your place for a bite to eat?_

That was Jake.

_You know, Jacob. One day you're going to have to start eating at your own place._

Sam pretended to deliberate for a moment, but finally he said, _Go ahead. You already know she's got something ready for you guys. _

We could all feel him mentally roll his eyes. Jacob, Quil, Embry, and I howled in delight and began racing back to town.

Out of all the wolves, I was the fastest. Granted, Leah could give me a run for my money.

_You bet I can, Eddie,_ she sneered.

I'd always hated that nickname. She snickered at my irritation.

But she hadn't been able to beat me yet.

_Oh, please, _she scoffed._ That's only because you're some weird mutant hybrid._

I laughed at her.

_Come on, Leah. Don't be sore. At least you're faster than Jacob._

She was still miffed, but she'd get over it. And if she didn't, then oh well. I didn't really care.

We were close to town now, so we decided to change. In the beginning, when we were all discovering what we had become, some of us had slipped up a few times. We'd transformed too close La Push or Forks and people had seen us. Of course, they thought we were bears, but Sam had lain down a strict edict that we had to be far from prying eyes before we turned.

_Hey, Edward,_ Jacob began once we were dressed and running toward Sam's house. _Do you think it's true that the leeches' numbers have grown since the last time they were here?_

"I don't know, Jake, but I don't like it. It's too close."

"Hey, no fair," complained Embry. "We're not in wolf form anymore. Jake, what'd you say?"

Jake rolled his eyes, but answered Embry's question.

"I was just wondering about the leech extension. You know, if it was true."

"Oh," Embry mumbled. "I dunno. Maybe. Everyone in town's been talking about it. Some of the people in Forks claim to have seen seven of them, so probably." He winced mentally. "I really hope not, though. That would suck."

The others silently agreed. Regardless how macho we acted, none of us were happy with their increased numbers.

That was something else that was strange about me. Besides my gift, or curse, as I liked to see it, of being able to read other people's minds, even when I wasn't in wolf form, I was much more cautious than my brothers…and sister, I tacked on grudgingly. Leah could be a real pain, but I suppose I couldn't blame her for being so bitter, after what had happened between her and Sam.

I had never been so gung ho about killing the vamps. I'll admit that I was just as disgusted by them as the rest of the pack. I just wasn't as blatant about it. The guys told me I just worried too much. I supposed it was true. But it was more than that. If I was really being honest with myself, I just wasn't as prejudiced as the other guys.

I hadn't grown up around the Quileute people. My dad, Charlie, was a "pale face." The guys teased me constantly about that fact, but I didn't let it bother me. I knew they weren't serious. My mother, Renee, was only half Quileute herself. Her father had also been white. That's why everyone had been so surprised when I changed. They had figured, though they tried very hard to hide it, that my blood was too diluted to become a werewolf. They had been even more surprised when they realized that I hadn't been able to read minds until my transformation. Something like that had never occurred in their__our__history.

They soon realized that it came in handy when we were fighting the bloodsuckers. Anything that I heard from their minds while in wolf form, the pack also heard. It definitely gave us the upper hand.

_It sort of evens the odds, though, doesn't it? _Jacob asked._ It's really going to suck if it's true._

"Well, I guess we'll find out tonight," I said aloud.

Their thoughts were uneasy. They weren't happy that our numbers were so close. But they weren't too put out. After all, we had two more on our side than they did.

The legend of the Cullens stretched back to our great grandfathers. At the time, or so our stories claimed, there were only three vamps: Carlisle, the leader, and two others, a monster of a man and a blonde girl. Rumor had been flying that four more had joined their coven since then.

They were supposed to be 'good' leeches, only hunting animals, but we still didn't trust them. They were still our enemies. As long as they stayed off our lands and didn't hunt humans, we couldn't touch them.

As we neared Emily's house, the smell of food wafted toward us. My stomach growled loudly. The others laughed as we charged in the doorway.

She turned to greet us with an exasperated smile. "Hey, guys. Are you hungry?" she asked, rolling her eyes. _Of course they are. Honestly, when are they ever _not_ starving?"_

She looked at me and winked, knowing I had heard her thoughts. I really liked Emily. She was a sweet person. And she loved us all like her kids, even though she was only a few years older than we were.

My eyes fell on the scar that covered the right side of her face. Poor Emily. Poor Sam. He still couldn't forgive himself for what happened. We all knew it was an accident, but he hated himself for the pain he'd cause her. He had vowed long ago that he would spend every day for the rest of his life making it up to her. He was so ashamed that what he had done could never be undone.

After we had all finished eating, we separated and went to our own homes. It was still early. The sun wasn't out yet, being maybe five o'clock or so in the morning. This was good for me. I would have to sneak very quietly into my room. I hoped my parents hadn't come in during the night to check on me.

I hadn't told my parents what I was, and I was planning to keep it that way. Our secret was too important, and they were not on a need-to-know basis. The guys had tried to get Sam to lift the edict so I could tell them, but I decided against it. It was better that they didn't know. My dad would have a heart attack. He wasn't as familiar with our legends as my mother was. _I_ had barely known anything about the old stories before I'd changed. I wasn't sure how my mother would react, but I thought it best not to find out.

I had been caught a few times, and had to come home to two very angry parents in the morning. They had grounded me, taken away all my privileges, cleared my room of anything I might enjoy, but it didn't matter. It was not something I could help. I could tell from their thoughts that they were worried for me. They thought I was hanging with a bad crowd, doing drugs or drinking. It pained me to think that they saw me this way, but I just couldn't tell them.

I also couldn't tell them that I was able to read minds. It would raise too many questions. Of course, reading minds was not necessarily part of the whole werewolf thing, but I didn't want to take any chances. I was worried it would make my mom too suspicious. So I kept that to myself as well. I hated lying to my parents, but I knew it was for their own good. They could never know anything about my world.

I opened the window as quietly as possible and looked around. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary, so I quickly jumped inside and shut the window before changing into something more bed worthy.

I pulled back the covers and lay down, just as I heard noises from my parents' bedroom. I looked at the clock. It read 5:15 A.M. I decided I'd better thank the Lord for getting home just in time. With that last thought, I drifted into nothingness.


	2. Formations & Bruised Egos

Chapter 2

EPOV

I awoke with a start when I heard a loud _crash!_ I bolted up in my bed and looked around my room for the source of the noise, completely disoriented. I heard a clatter coming from the other room, and then a low oath. I decided I'd better get up and investigate. I changed as quickly as I could and exited my bedroom.

I entered the kitchen and saw my mother bent over the floor. On closer examination I realized she had dropped a set of pots and pans onto the kitchen floor. Well, that explained all the noise…

"Mom, are you alright?" I asked her timidly, trying not to startle her. It didn't work. She jumped three feet in the air, and whirled around to look at me.

"Oh!" she proclaimed, her heart beating out of her chest. "Edward, I didn't hear you there. I swear, if you get any quieter I'm going to have to tie a bell around your neck." She laughed shakily at her own joke.

"Sorry, Mom. Er, what's going on?" I hedged.

"Oh, spring cleaning." She smiled sheepishly at me. "I know it's not technically spring or anything, but I've been meaning to do this for ages. So I decided that since I have nothing better to do today, I might as well work on the house."

She was rambling now. She tended to do that a lot. It was difficult to keep her focused on any one thing. I chuckled at her erratic behavior.

"Ok, Mom, but how did everything end up on the floor?" I asked her to try to redirect her attention. She looked down at the mess on the floor with a dazed expression.

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Did I wake you? I didn't mean to," she said, taking her eyes from the mess on the floor to look at me. Her expression changed to one of concern. "Edward, are you alright? You look exhausted. Did you sleep at all last night? I didn't even realize you were still asleep. My goodness, it's after five!"

Wow! I _had_ slept a long time, and yet I still didn't feel rested. Apparently I had a lot more sleep to catch up on than I realized.

Her eyes suddenly turned icy as she looked directly into my eyes.

"Edward Anthony Swan, did you sneak out again last night?" Her cheeks were suddenly blotched red with anger. I figured I'd better assuage the situation before she laid down some law that would keep me from going to the meeting tonight. It wasn't as if I would do as I was told, but I really didn't want to upset her.

"Of course not, Mom. I just couldn't sleep. I slept in too late yesterday. I tossed and turned all night. I just listened to music mostly," I replied nonchalantly.

I could tell from her thoughts that she wasn't entirely convinced, but she didn't push it any further. I knew my excuse was a bit flimsy, but I wasn't exactly at my best at the moment, considering how rudely I'd been awoken.

"Well, you'd better get to bed at a decent time tonight, Mister. And if you don't start looking a bit better in the next few days, I'll start setting your bedtime for you."

I could feel the blood rush from my face. I hadn't had a bedtime, or a real curfew for that matter, since I was eight. I checked to see if she really would do such a thing.

She would.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'll try harder. I guess I've just got to get my sleep schedule back on track." I gave her my crooked smile, the one that always warmed her. It worked quite well. Her face relaxed and a small smile played around her lips. I could tell she loved me very much. I felt a bit guilty about using that move on her, but I didn't need her getting suspicious.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, turning away from me and beginning to pick up the pots and pans. I bent down and helped her.

"Yeah, sure," I said. I was starving.

"Great. What would you like to eat?"

I was suddenly on red alert. I should have kept my mouth shut. There was a good reason I always ate over at Sam's place, or Jared's, or Jacob's. As much as I loved my mother, she was a _horrible_ cook. Heck, I'd probably even take eating over at Leah's house. I backpedaled.

"I'm just going to grab a sandwich. I'm headed over to Jake's place for a while." I had a sudden inspiration. "Hey, would it be alright if I crashed at his place tonight?"

She pursed her lips. In her mind, she wasn't exactly averse to the idea, but she was wary.

"What do the two of you plan to do tonight?" she asked cautiously. She didn't entirely trust me, and she was hoping I wasn't up to anything illegal. I felt the sting of that unspoken accusation.

"Nothing much, I guess. Just hang out. We might get the guys together and head up to Port Angeles for a movie or something." That would clear those of us whose parents didn't know about us, anyway.

I waited tentatively for her response. After a few beats, I breathed easy, knowing her response before she said it.

"I suppose it'll be alright. Just check in later when you get back from Port Angeles and let me know you're home." _Billy wouldn't allow anything bad to go on in his house. He'll be safe there._

I felt my throat tighten slightly. It was nice to know that she was worried about me, even if she thought I was running with the wrong crowd.

"I promise I will. I love you, Mom," I whispered, leaning over and giving her a kiss on the cheek and a firm hug. I hoped she knew just how much I appreciated her.

Her thoughts became scrambled. She was trying not to cry. _My boy. My baby boy. What would I do without him?_

She gave me a watery grin and flapped the dishtowel that had been hanging over her shoulder at me.

"I love you, too. Go, have fun. But be careful," she called as I headed out the door.

"Thanks, Mom. Love you," I hollered. I didn't usually show my mother affection this way, but I knew she needed it sometimes. Every parent wants to know that their child cares for them, even if they don't show it.

Ok, I really needed to stay out of people's heads. This whole Dr. Phil philosophy I was developing was a bit unnerving, not to mention cheesy.

**********

As soon as I got to Jake's house, I went inside. I didn't bother knocking. This was my second home.

"Hey, Edward," Billy called from the kitchen, not even looking up from the book he was reading. "Jake's still in his room. Go wake him up. That boy's been sleeping like he's been out all night." He chuckled to himself.

"Sure, sure," I said, an old habit I had picked up from Jacob and his dad.

I opened the door to Jake's room slightly, peering in to see if he was still asleep. Once I was sure he was out like a light, I slammed the door as hard as I could against the wall.

"Argh," Jake yelped, jumping out of his bed and nearly attaching himself to the ceiling.

After I stopped laughing my head off and Jake calmed down enough to realize what had happened, he let go of his pillow that he had latched onto and stood. He was throwing me a menacing glare.

_I'll get you for that, Swan. Don't _ever_ do that to me again. I almost had a heart attack._ His breathing was becoming regular again and his heart was slowing to its normal rhythm.

"Yeah right, Jake. You _can't _have a heart attack. Werewolf, remember?"

He shot daggers at me. "Oh shut up. You know what I mean. And anyway, what are you doing here so early? Aren't you supposed to be home sleeping?"

"Jake, do you have any idea what time it is?" I asked him.

He looked around comically, trying to find an alarm clock. He had broken his a couple of weeks ago when his alarm had started beeping. He was only trying to silence it, but he'd used a little too much force and flattened it instead.

I rolled my eyes. "It's almost six. Come on, we'd better check in with Sam." I turned and headed for his bedroom door.

"No way. Sam can wait. I'm starving. Let's go eat." He sidestepped me and made a beeline for the kitchen.

I had forgotten about the sandwich I was supposed to make before I'd left home. Oh well. I followed Jacob and started helping myself to Billy's groceries. I heard Billy's grating laugh from the living room.

_If those boys' appetites get any bigger, I'm going to have to sell my house to have enough food._

"Sorry, Billy," I apologized. "I should probably start eating more at my house."

He laughed genially. "It's alright, Edward. I was just joking. After all, I wouldn't subject you to that kind of torture even if you were Paul."

Jake snorted, causing some of his food to fly out of his mouth. _I'm sorry, man, but your mom's cooking is awful._

"Hey, she tries," I defended, answering both of them. "Cooking's just not her forte." I shrugged my shoulders, knowing I had a neighborhood full of other people that would feed me. Besides, I wasn't a bad cook myself. If worse came to worst, I could always make myself something.

After we ate, we told Billy that it was time to for us to meet Sam.

"Alright, boys. Have fun."

That was the thing about Billy. He was never really worried about things like this. Most parents, if they were to know that their child was about to go out and face dangerous creatures that could kill any normal human, and even a werewolf if given the opportunity, would be terrified and hide their child under lock and key. But Billy was always so cool about everything. I kind of envied Jacob for his easy relationship with his father.

We headed out into the woods and stripped down to phase. As soon as we were in wolf form, we were bombarded with the thoughts of the pack.

_It's about time. I thought you idiots would never join us._ That was Leah, of course.

_Come, on, Sis. They don't usually get that much sleep. Besides it's not like we needed them,_ said Seth. Great kid.

_Hey, guys._ That was Embry. His greeting was echoed by the rest of the pack.

_Alright, alright, that's enough,_ Sam intoned after pleasantries were finished. _We've got business to attend to._

He turned to me.

_Edward, we're going to need you to be alert on this one. I've confirmed that there are indeed seven vamps now. Do you think you can handle getting into all their heads without much trouble._

I bristled slightly at his comment. _It's never been a problem before, Sam. I'm sure I can handle it._

_Good,_ he went on, not phased by my irritation. _Jake and Edward will be on my flanks. You're my two best fighters. I'll need you up front in case this goes south. Jared and Paul behind you. Then Embry, Quil, Leah, and Seth are our backup._

_Why do Seth and I get put on the back flanks? We're just as good as Quil and Embry, _huffed Leah. Oh no. She was trying to prove herself again. We all knew she could fight. Why she felt the need to try one-up everyone was beyond us, even me.

_I know that, Leah, _Sam said tiredly. _But there are a lot more of them than there used to be. You're a good strategist. If it comes to a fight, I'll need your head, and it won't be much use if you're on the front lines and not able to think. And as for Seth, he's a good fighter, but he's still young. He has a lot to learn. No offense, Seth, _Sam amended.

_None taken,_ Seth chirped in, not bothered in the slightest by his place in the formation.

Leah was still irked, but she kept quiet and did as she was told. We all took our flanks. Sam took point and we began to head toward a large clearing several miles north of La Push. There's no way we'd be disturbed there.

The whole gang was excited. They were hoping that maybe something would come of this confrontation. We hadn't seen any bloodsuckers in a while and they had been getting antsy for action.

Sam barked an order to attention, and we returned our minds back to the task at hand. We all had a job to do. We headed for the clearing, not sure what to expect. But whatever happened, we knew we'd be ready.

_This is my very first story. Please review. Flames are acceptable. I'm tough, so bring it on. But please review so I'll know whether to continue._


	3. Meetings & Revelations

Chapter 3

EPOV

_Alright, everyone. Stay alert. We're nearing the meeting place._

Our ears pricked up. A few hundred feet farther and suddenly our noses were accosted with a sickly sweet icy smell.

Vampires.

_They're already here,_ Sam said ominously.

As soon as we broke through the trees, we saw them.

They were all standing tightly together in a semicircle. I couldn't see all of their faces clearly. I could see a tall man with his hair slicked back, wearing clothes that looked like they were from the 1800s. Beside him stood a petite woman with caramel colored hair. Her face was more rounded than the others surrounding her. She seemed fragile. She would be an easy target. To the right of her was a large burly man with curly brown hair and a band of intimidating muscles. The next one was a tall boy with honey-blond hair. He scanned through our number in a calculating way, as though he were trying to see which of us would be easiest and most efficient to take down first. He looked a bit scary, as though he'd been in a bad fight. There were scars covering every inch of him

Next to him stood a statuesque blonde girl. She had to be the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life. I had to do a double take. Beyond that, I could see black spiky hair, but not the face that was attached to it. Likewise, I saw long brunette hair and an elbow sticking out from behind the tall and curvy blonde.

We came to a stop about 100 yards away. We would be close enough to hear them, and vice versa. The smell was nearly excruciating from this distance. I could see similar looks of disgust on their faces, though the man wearing the old fashioned clothes tried to hide it. He must have been the leader, Carlisle.

_Edward,_ Sam uttered. He was wanting me to read their minds, to glean what I could from them. So I concentrated.

_They've grown substantially since last we were here. What could have caused such an explosion? Perhaps they would speak to me about this. But no. They don't trust us, so I suppose that would be impossible._ This was Carlisle, eyeing us clinically.

_Make a move. It would be fun to take one of them down. I wonder who would win. Of course I would. Maybe I could play with one of them. Ha! _This was the large burly one. Was he one of the ones from the stories? What had been his name? Emmett. That was right.

The pack was antsy again. They were itching for a fight just as badly as this Emmett character. But no one made a move. So I continued down the line.

By this time, the leader stepped forward. "Hello," he stated calmly. "My name is Carlisle, and this is my family."

_Family, _Leah scoffed. _He says that like they're_ human.

Carlisle stood uncertainly, dithering on his next words. Finally, he said, "Perhaps this would be easier if we could speak to one of you?"

The pack became restless. None of us were comfortable phasing and leaving the rest of us one man short.

_He's right, _I stated reluctantly. _We're not going to get anywhere if we can't speak._

_Yeah, but who's going to phase? _asked Seth.

We all looked to Sam. As our alpha, he was usually the one who handled these situations. He was unsure about this decision, knowing that he would need to lead in a fight. But he also would rather be the one exposed to the vampires than to have one of us face them in weakness.

_I'll phase. Edward, watch them. Let us know if they're about to try anything._ He ran into the forest then. I continued to search their thoughts.

_Where is he going? Can we please just get this over with? I want to go home._ The blonde girl was not happy to be here. From her thoughts, she would rather be in her garage working on her cars. This made Jake uncomfortable. He didn't like having anything in common with a bloodsucker.

I moved on to the tall honey-blonde boy.

He stood very tense, waiting for something. _This is a trick,_ he thought. _They're trying to distract us. The russet-colored wolf looks the biggest next the black one. He'll be a challenge to take down. The bronze one is lean. He looks like a fighter. I'll take him. Emmett can have the russet one. The rest should be fairly easy. We can pick them off without much difficulty._

The pack flared at his line of thinking. Leah and Jake began growling menacingly. The scar-covered one seemed surprised by their sudden outburst. His whole body tensed. Suddenly, I felt my body relax. I no longer felt the need to worry about the situation. It would be fine. Everything would be just fine.

Wait, this didn't seem right. I realized the whole pack had felt the sudden shift in mood just as I had. I reached into his mind, to see the source of the abrupt change.

What I saw there wasn't pretty.

_He's controlling us?_ asked Jake. He wanted to be angry about it, but with this leech's ability, it was impossible.

So the stories were true? Some vampires had extra abilities? No, no, no. This was bad. What if he could calm us to the point that he was able to overpower us? But then, why was he worried about an ambush? If his power could do that, he wouldn't be worried about something like that, would he?

My pack saw the logic in my reasoning, but they were still angry about being controlled. Or, at least, they wanted to be.

Sam reentered the clearing in his cutoff shorts. I wanted to warn him of the danger, to tell him what was happening, but there was no way I could. I would just have to keep a close eye on things, in case _Jasper_, the name I had picked out of his mind, decided to try something.

_Wait, how did you know his name?_ asked Embry. _He wasn't thinking about it, was he?_

_No, _I told him_, but a person's name is stored in their mind subconsciously. I always know a person's name the moment I look at them._

_Oh, _he said. _Makes sense, I guess._

_Hey, pay attention, _hissed Jacob. _Now is _not_ the time to get into the inner workings of Edward's privacy violations._

I chuckled at his euphemisms, but got my head back in the game.

"Thank you," Carlisle said politely. I looked into his mind to see if he was planning anything… He didn't seem to be. He seemed genuinely kind, though he was wary of us. From his mind, none of the vamps had any intention of starting anything. A few of the guys were disappointed. I decided to listen to the others as Sam and Carlisle discussed the treaty. I wanted to check out spike-haired girl next.

_I can't see anything! _she shrieked inwardly, and I nearly pulled out of her mind due to the screaming, but just barely remained in place.

_What are these dogs doing? Why I can't see what's going to happen? This makes no sense. I don't think Bella's causing it. I usually don't have much trouble seeing around her. No, this isn't happening. I can't see past this pack of _mutts!

_Edward? _asked Jake in horror_. Please tell me this isn't what I think it is._

_It looks like it, Jake. If I'm right, she's a psychic. She can see the future._

_Ha! _barked Leah.

Seth turned to look at her in perplexity.

_What was that about?_ he asked her, beginning to fear for her sanity.

_Well, dummy, we all just heard that she can't see anything with us around. So that's good for us. She can't give the others fair warning._

We all smiled in satisfaction. Leah was right. We had the upper hand there.

I decided to check the brunette's mind. I couldn't see her face, but from what I could see, she didn't look like much of a threat. I listened closely.

And listened.

And listened.

_What's wrong, Edward? Why can't you hear her?_

_I--I don't know. It doesn't make sense. I've always been able to hear someone before. Let me try again._

But as much as I tried, there was nothing there. It was as if no one _was_ there. That's when I heard it. There was a strange thrumming sound coming from where she was standing. I didn't understand the sound at all. Was there a hummingbird beside her?

I searched the other minds around her again to make sure that nothing had happened to my ability. For all I knew, one of the leeches had somehow tampered with it the way the scarred bloodsucker had manipulated our emotions. But everything was fine. They were all intent on the conversation between Sam and Carlisle. They were bored, actually, now that they realized there was no danger. Everything was going according to plan.

I turned my gaze back onto what I could see of the petite brunette girl. Abruptly she moved around the small spike-haired girl and leaned in to listen more closely to the two older men talking.

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at this petite girl. All the lines that held me to my life were forcibly sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was--my love for my mother, my loyalty to my pack, my home, my name, my _self_--disconnected from me in that second and floated into space.

I felt another string--no, not string, this was much too strong--latch onto me. And not just one string, but a million steel cables all tying me to one thing--this girl. Suddenly, everything looked brighter, everything made sense. But the world was all so plain. The world no longer held color. Except for this girl.

And then I heard a chorus of voices in my head, a symphony of disbelief.

_NO!_

**********

Ok, please review everyone! I'm really getting into this story, but I need to know if I should _continue _it. No one's answered that one for me yet. If it's no good, I need to know. I promise that I won't be offended if one of you wants to flame me. I'll accept it graciously. Thank you.


	4. Fury & Agony

_Ok, first off, thank you all so much for your amazing reviews. It really means a lot to me. I actually only started this story for myself, not expecting anyone to like it. I've just had this story in my head for a while. I actually have several stories in my head all the time, but this one was so persistent that I had no choice but to write it, and I'm very glad I did._

**Special thanks to cb. Thanks for some of your ideas. They may have been unintentional, but thanks anyway. Loved the review**

**Also, to Twilightgirl.x: your posts had me soaring.**

**Another big thanks to PaulIsMine for your amusing and uplifting review.**

**And to cosmoGirl666. Your review had me in stitches. Thanks so much to all of you.**

Chapter 4

EPOV

_You imprinted on a PARASITE?_ Leah screeched, sickened at the thought.

I could also the feel the shock and disgust rolling off of my brothers in waves. But all of this was only background noise, meaningless chatter.

I couldn't move. I was rooted to the spot. I couldn't feel my muscles. It felt as though my brain had given out, like I'd blown a fuse. I couldn't make sense of what had just happened.

_No, _I thought, my thoughts muddled. _She's a vamp. This can't be happening. It's not possible. She's a VAMPIRE!_

How had this happened? I thought vampires couldn't…I gulped as I thought the word. Procreate. Their physical makeup made such a thing inconceivable.

But no matter how I tried to rationalize it, I knew there was no going back. There was no room for second guesses or doubts. I understood all too well what had occurred. I had seen it through Sam's memories, through Jared's and Paul's and Quil's. This sort of bond was unbreakable, utterly irreversible.

My eyes would not leave her face. Her beautiful, delicate face. I studied it greedily, trying to memorize every facet, every angle. The tapered jaw line, the pointed nose, the prominent cheekbones, her lips, the bottom lip being just slightly too full for her jaw, but still so lovely. But something seemed off. I couldn't put my finger on it.

Some of the guys behind me were making gagging noises at my assessment of her. Even Jake was looking over at me uneasily. He was my best friend, and because of this, he was desperately trying to hide his chagrin, for my sake. But, of course, he was failing miserably.

The gagging, choking noises coming from my brothers alerted the vampires. They all looked up apprehensively at the commotion. At that precise moment, as though she could feel my eyes on her, she turned her gaze toward me. That's when I realized what seemed so out of place earlier. Her eyes. They were nothing at all like the rest of her coven, whose eyes were all a liquid topaz color. No, her eyes were brown, a deep chocolate brown.

This caught the attention of the pack.

_Brown eyes?_ gasped Jake. _That's not right. All vampires either have red or gold eyes. Never brown. That's a human color._

The rest were in an uproar. This was unnatural. Wrong. These were the words that kept passing through their minds. Was she not a vampire, after all? But if she wasn't, then what was she? She couldn't be human. She was too angular and…beautiful…for that.

They grudgingly conceded to her beauty, but only for the sake of the argument against her humanity.

My hackles rose at their cutting thoughts. I tried to control myself, but I couldn't stop the vicious growl that emanated from my throat. Sam looked back at me uncertainly, as did the leader.

_Edward? _he asked, on instant alert. He was trying to discern whether my reaction meant trouble for us.

_You bet it does, _Paul snorted. _Sam's going to be irate when he finds out about this. It was nice know you, Eddie._

I ignored him and tried to calm myself. It wouldn't help our situation if the vampires misinterpreted my behavior. So I worked solely on that, giving Sam what I hoped was a reassuring nod and sitting back down on my haunches to show him there was no immediate danger.

_What do you mean by no immediate danger? _Leah hissed. _You don't know that, _Eddie_. We don't know what she is or what she can do. Sam needs to know this._

_Now's not the time to start kissing up to Sam, Leah, _I replied stonily, hoping she would drop it. Of course she didn't.

_But you can't read her mind. You have no idea what she might do. We have no warning. And if she's running with the leeches, then she's probably just as deadly as they are, _she fumed.

_But there's something you seem to be forgetting. I can read THEIR minds, _I told her acidly, ranging my eyes over the line of vampires. _She's not going to attack us by herself. And if there was any plan of impending attack, I would have known from one of the others. If they decide to strike, I'll still know about it ahead of time._

She surrendered reluctantly, having no rebuttal to my argument.

_Stupid bloodsuckers, _she sulked.

For some reason, that small slander infuriated me. For a split second, I wanted to sink my teeth into her hindquarters. I quickly reigned myself in. I shouldn't be offended by her slight. After all, we called them that all the time. I needed to get hold of myself.

I turned my attention back to the dark-haired beauty in front of me. It was strange. The weird thrumming seemed to be coming directly from her. It didn't make sense to me. I couldn't comprehend what it meant.

_Her heartbeat?_ suggested Seth.

_I've never heard a heartbeat that sounded like that, _Quil noted.

_No, Seth might have a point,_ Jake chimed in. _After all, we don't know what she is exactly. Do you think she's some kind of new creature we didn't know about?_

_Pfft, _Leah snickered. _Yeah, I doubt that. _But she wasn't entirely convinced with her own logic.

_Well, she's something, _said Embry, unsure himself.

Sam and Carlisle seemed to be wrapping things up. Carlisle was considering holding his hand out for Sam to shake, but decided against it. He didn't want to offend the pack leader immediately after reaffirming the treaty. Instead, he nodded his head politely and walked back toward the other vampires that were still convened on the southern edge of the field.

Suddenly, my stomach contracted. She was leaving. Would I ever see her again? The idea of any kind of separation was painful. I couldn't let her get away without speaking to her first. I didn't even know her name. I slowly began to trudge toward their line, my instincts screaming at me to turn tail and run. But I couldn't. I let out a soft bark to get their attention.

The rest of the pack was frantic. They couldn't believe I was actually considering this.

_NO!_ they all shouted in unison.

Sam watched me warily as I continued to walk slowly toward them. His eyes were screaming at me to stop. He ran and placed himself in front of me, asking me silently what I thought I was doing. By now, we had gained the attention of the vampires.

I wasn't sure how to communicate my intentions to Sam. Should I run into the woods and phase? But, if I did that, I was afraid they would leave. I also couldn't change in front of them. I would be completely uncovered. How was I supposed to talk to her if I couldn't even phase?

_How about you just come back later, huh? _Jake asked in a panic. He was terrified of me going anywhere near the large coven alone. _We could just go home now. Maybe you'll see her another time. _He was saying anything he could to get me to stop.

_No, Jake. You know this will be my only chance. I'll never be able to see her again after this. I have no choice._ I silently begged him to understand my predicament. I couldn't just walk away. I knew that there was no hope of ever seeing her after this. I wasn't stupid.

Jake yelped softly at Sam and began whimpering, hoping he would try to stop me. I eyed him furiously. The traitor. Sam understood Jake's whining, though he didn't understand the reason behind it. Sam decided on a slightly different tactic. Begging.

"Edward, stop. You need to turn around. Follow your brothers," he pleaded, willing me to listen.

I stubbornly shook my head and continued forward, my eyes set only on _her_. The vampires were getting defensive now. They had followed my line of sight and were beginning to form a tight circle around her. They thought I was going to try to attack her. This surprised me, but I suppose it shouldn't have. It's not as if they could read _my _mind. It was still irritating, however. I would never hurt her. The very thought was excruciating.

_Bella!_ I heard several mental voices scream at once. The vampires, I realized.

_Bella,_ I repeated. _Bella, Bella, Bella._ It was a beautiful name. The name fit her perfectly.

"_No_," Sam ordered aloud, using him double timbre voice, his alpha voice. "I order you to turn around and go home, Edward. _Now!_"

His words were not nearly as effective in his human form as they would have been in his wolf body, but they were effective enough to make me come to a halt. I nearly buckled under the weight of his command. Nearly, but not quite. I just managed to keep my knees from folding, though it was taking all my effort.

I began to whine and snuffle, stretching my head toward Bella, praying he would fit the pieces together and realize what I meant. I knew it was a futile hope. None of us would have believed something like this could ever occur even one hour ago. Huh. Had it only been one hour since we had begun our trek from La Push? It seemed a lifetime now.

Sam was annoyed by my bizarre behavior, but, as I'd predicted, he had no idea what was causing it. He squared his shoulders and prepared to phase. He was having none of my nonsense. He was becoming livid with my blatant disregard for protocol with the vampires standing within plain view.

The vampires in the distance were utterly mystified. They weren't sure what to think of mine and Sam's little argument. From the corner of my eye, I saw them sprint into the woods.

_No. _The disappointment was nearly as crippling as Sam's order.

Sam had had enough. He phased. I was immediately bombarded with orders from Sam to retreat.

My knees gave out and I hit the ground hard. That's when he was accosted by the thoughts of the pack. It took Sam two seconds to attain how swiftly everything had spiraled out of control while he had been in his human form. The news shocked Sam so greatly that it took him a couple of minutes to form a coherent thought.

I was in trouble.

As my legs unwillingly turned away from the most beautiful creature I had ever seen and were forcibly marching the opposite way, my heart sank to my tail. I would never see her again. The most important thing to me now, the most important thing to me ever, would never know what happened today. I was in sheer misery.

_It's better this way, Edward,_ Sam said firmly. _She's too dangerous._

_Better for WHO, exactly?_ I asked him scathingly, still reeling from the pain.

_For all of us, _he replied, unabashed.

_For US, _I repeated acidly, a horrible taste in my mouth. No, not for us. For his own comfort. This had nothing to do with us. He was just afraid of them.

_ENOUGH, Edward. You know better than that. All I care about, all I have ever cared about, is the safety of our people. I order you to stay away from her. Do NOT get involved with that creature. They can't be trusted. Or have you already forgotten that they are our enemies, the very creatures we are sworn to kill?_

_But we're not sworn to kill them,_ I continued, not willing to let it go. He couldn't force me to stay away from her. He couldn't. She was my imprint. I had the right to tell her everything about us now. Our laws decreed that we didn't have to keep any of our secrets from our imprints. Could a direct order from the alpha male himself have the power to keep you away from your own imprint? I wasn't sure.

_No_, he hissed in horror. _I forbid it. You can't reveal anything to her. She's not one of us. She's not even human. She runs with our enemies. That makes her an enemy, too. What do you think she'd do if you told her everything? Think of the weapons you'd be handing over to her to use against us. You'll get us all killed. Is that what you want? Would you sell out your own brothers for her?_

_But if I imprinted on her-- _I began, prepared to fight this to the end. I refused to be ripped away from her.

_I said enough,_ he growled dangerously. _No more arguing. You will not go against this order, Edward. No loopholes, no bending any rules. You are not allowed to see her, or talk to her, or have any contact with her in any form._

The force of his command caused my body to sprawl across the forest floor for the second time in one day. I hated his orders. I hated him. I wanted to tear my teeth into him, to make him feel the pain that he was causing me. I wanted to kick and scream like a child. Anything. Anything to stop this agony that was ripping through my chest.

The pack was embarrassed to have to witness my suffering. They thought that maybe Sam had gone too far this time. They believed he had a point about the prospective danger, but they also hated to see me so tortured. I didn't need their pity. I didn't want it. I wanted _her._ I had never wanted anything, or anyone, so badly in my life, but I felt as though I were being ordered not to _breathe_. I now needed her as badly as I needed oxygen.

I took the opportunity to phase as quickly as possible when we were in range of La Push. I pulled my shorts on roughly and began running toward my house. I was livid. I wanted nothing more to do with the pack. Not one of them had defended me. Not one had been on my side. They all found the idea of imprinting on a vampire positively revolting. Of course, I might have thought the same thing this morning. But I didn't want to be reasonable at the moment. I just wanted to get as far away from all of them as possible. I needed to think.

I didn't even stop when I heard Jake calling my name. I didn't bother reading his thoughts to see what he wanted. I didn't care. He was just as much a traitor as the rest of them. _He_ hadn't stood up for me either. I didn't need them. I didn't need any of them.

_Bella._ Her name sent me into convulsions. I could feel myself trying to phase back. I was shaking so violently that my hands had become a blur. I concentrated as hard as I could to keep calm. I couldn't change back now. I had to be careful. If I phased now, they would be able to see the plan formulating in my mind, and Sam would try to stop me again.

I wasn't sure if Sam could command me to stay away from her, but I was planning to put it to the test. After all, what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

* * *

_Now, please don't forget to review, review, review. Hope you liked it. If not, tell me._


	5. Pursuit & Exposed

Chapter 5

EPOV

_What are you doing?_ I asked myself for the hundredth time. I was sure to become mince meat for this plan. I must be suicidal, or insane. Perhaps that was it. All the voices in my head had finally gotten to me.

I had been up all night, wandering back alleys and side streets. I couldn't go home since I'd told my mother I was staying the night with Jake. But after what had happened yesterday evening, there was no way I was following through with that promise.

I had used an old payphone to call my house when I thought enough time had passed to be acceptable for my return from Port Angeles. It had been awkward.

"Yeah, hi." My dad answered the phone, sounding distracted. He was probably watching the sports channel.

"Hey, dad. I was just calling to check in with Mom. She wanted me to call when we got back from dinner."

I counted to four before he replied. "I thought your mom said you were going to the movies," he accused me, sounding suddenly suspicious.

I scrambled quickly, trying to recover. "Uh, yeah, we did. We grabbed a bite to eat afterward. We just got back." _Please believe it. Please believe it. Please believe it, _I chanted in my head.

"What movie did you guys watch?" he asked, still skeptical.

I racked my brain for a new movie that had recently been advertised on TV. I hit on one, hoping it was already in theatres, or that Charlie hadn't paid enough attention to care.

"That new horror flick they just remade. It was pretty good, actually," I finally said, hoping I hadn't taken too much time in answering.

"Oh. Ok. Well, have fun at Jake's, and tell Billy I said hi," he mumbled. I had clearly lost him again to his football game.

"Sure, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Mm, take care, son. Bye." And he hung up. Must be a good game. But at least he'd bought it. I just hoped he wouldn't call Billy later. Those two gossiped like old women.

My night resumed in the same fashion as before, just walking. I had my license, but no car of my own. My dad was the chief of police in the Forks/La Push area, but no one was allowed to drive his cruiser, and I hadn't saved up enough money yet for my own car. I didn't really need one, though. I was fast, and I didn't get tired easily. I was obviously faster than a vehicle. Even in my human form, I had no trouble managing.

_Human,_ I scoffed. No, I wasn't human anymore. At least, most of the time I wasn't. I was a monster now, like the ones in those old horror movies, except that I didn't attack innocent victims. That thought didn't make me feel any better about my…condition. I was still dangerous, still a monster.

I shook off the depressing thoughts. What was done was done. There was no reason to wallow in self-pity. There was no going back from this.

Just like there was no way to go back from what had happened earlier. Her face entered into my mind again, blocking everything else from view. _Bella._ Her beauty and physique made the stunning blond girl look more like a rag doll. I just wished I could understand why she seemed so different from the vampires she was consorting with, but also eerily similar at the same time.

How had things gotten so twisted in such a short time? Less than twenty-four hours ago, I had been relieved of my patrol and had been crawling into my bedroom window, the way I did every night. Not exactly normal behavior, but typical enough for me.

And now, I was head-over-heels for someone I had never even spoken to, craving her the way a drug addict craved heroine. Apparently I was also at odds with my pack brothers. Who knew? They might even disown me once they figured out what I was about to attempt. I vaguely wondered if that was possible. I knew that it was possible physically, though I had to assume that I would still hear their minds when each of them phased. I really wasn't sure of the mechanics. No wolf had ever been banished from the pack before.

The dark night was slowly turning into a gray haze. What time was it? It was still early, of course. If I had to guess, I would say it was around 7:00. I decided then to make my way toward the forest to the south side of Forks' High School.

Once I arrived, being careful to stay hidden among the trees and making sure I was downwind from the school parking lot, I found a safe spot to hide and remained absolutely still to keep from attracting unwanted attention.

The parking lot was nearly empty. Only a few cars dotted the area, and I assumed they belonged to teachers. After about twenty minutes, however, the lot began to fill. I watched as the teenagers made their ways into the cafeteria or the indoor courtyard.

I began to get apprehensive. Perhaps they weren't acting as students, after all. I had assumed that this would be easiest for them, allow them to stay in the area longer, if they chose a younger age. Perhaps I'd been wrong.

Just as I was about to give up and go home, I saw a sleek silver Volvo pull into the parking lot. This car contrasted dramatically with other vehicles in the lot, which were all average or run-down.

I waited with bated breath as first one then another stepped out of the car. There was no doubt that I had the right vehicle. Even from this distance, I could see their inhuman beauty. A few moments later, the wind wafted their scent in my direction.

The smell was excruciating. It burned my nose. I had to remind myself to be very still. The smell nearly overpowered everything, and I almost missed another scent floating in the breeze. The scent was freesia and lavender, and it swirled around me, making me dizzy. The smell was intoxicating. I couldn't inhale more deeply, however, without also inhaling the sickly icy sweet smell as well.

_She_ was the last one to step out of the car. I stopped breathing. She was exquisite. My memories of our first encounter hadn't done her justice. Her hair waved gently down her back as she walked, strolling toward the front door along with her family.

It surprised me how easily that word came to my mind: family. Especially when it was attached to vampires. I couldn't believe how much my opinion of them had changed, due mainly to the lovely girl I couldn't help staring at as she disappeared behind the main doors.

That was when I realized that I wasn't the only one ogling. I was abruptly bombarded with the thoughts of what must have been most of the student body.

_Who are they? They're BEAUTFUL! Mm, especially the blond boy._

This was a girl with dark curly hair. Her thoughts turned R rated quickly, so I tried to block her as best I could.

_They must be the new kids everyone's been talking about. I wonder if they'll be alright. I should definitely say something to them. But it would probably just sound stupid._

Huh. This girl seemed genuinely concerned for the newcomers' comfort. She seemed to be an uncommonly kind person.

_Wow! Major hottie alert, twelve o'clock,_ thought a boy with blond hair and a babyish face. His mind was wrapping itself around Bella, thinking he would have a better chance with her than the other girls. He thought she looked more 'wholesome' than the other two. His train of thought disgusted and infuriated me. He looked at Bella like she was a piece of meat instead of a person. He already imagined himself in love with her, though he'd never even spoken to her.

_Sound familiar? _I asked myself unexpectedly.

_No,_ I thought. It wasn't the same thing. What had happened to me was unintentional. I hadn't asked for it to happen. It just did.

_But you're not sorry,_ my subconscious thought smugly. Ugh. I couldn't believe that I was actually talking to myself. It was one thing to hear _other_ people's thoughts. It was another thing entirely to hear _myself_ arguing with me.

I remained in my hiding spot the rest of the day, following Bella through others' minds. I knew this was wrong. I felt like a stalker, which, admittedly, I was. But I couldn't help it. I was curious about her. I wanted to know her. I didn't really feel like I was violating her privacy, as she was surrounded by other people. I didn't learn much, of course. I knew she wouldn't reveal anything surrounded by strangers, but it was still interesting to watch her.

School finally ended. This was what I had been waiting for.

They piled into the Volvo and drove off quickly. I was prepared for this. I pursued them. I was going to find out where they lived. Once again, I kept safely to the trees, being careful to stay hidden. This wouldn't work if they saw me or smelled my scent.

After a while, once the forest was all I could see besides the small road they were driving on, a little side lane came into view. They turned down this, and after a few moments, a large white house became noticeable. I gaped. It was _huge_.

Keeping within the confines of the trees, I watched as they disembarked. Unfortunately, I hadn't been paying close attention to their thoughts. I'd been more occupied with my own thoughts of the dark-haired beauty. At the last moment, I caught wind of their plans, but it was too late run. Too late to hide. Too late to do anything but stare like a deer in headlights.

"Hey," the big guy with the overtly huge muscles barked. "If you're trying to get yourself killed, we'll gladly oblige with that," he vaunted, his eyes playful, though his thoughts were begging for me to make a wrong move.

"Uh," I muttered, aghast at being caught by a full coven of vampires. "Well, you see. I can explain."

I didn't know how to continue. Sure, the big guy seemed to be having a good time, but the others were all in silent agreement for tearing out my insides for intruding on their territory. I _knew_ I was in trouble. I gulped audibly.

"You see," I began again, knowing that I would sound nothing short of crazy. I took a deep breath and continued, realizing I was digging my own grave with my next statement. "I'm here to see Bella.

* * *

_Once again, thank you for reading. I'll update again within the next couple of days, if I'm able. Tell me: like it, love it, hate it. Be honest. I expect nothing less than your honesty._


	6. New Discoveries

_**Recap from last chapter: **__"You see," I began again, knowing that I would sound nothing short of crazy. I took a deep breath and continued, realizing I was digging my own grave with my next statement. "I'm here to see Bella."_

**Chapter 6**

**EPOV**

The moment I stated my business here, I took closer stock of my surroundings. I was standing in what at first appeared to be a meadow, though on closer inspection, I realized it was their front yard. Their very _vast_ front yard. The white house was very large, standing three stories high. I could hear the babbling of a brook or a river coming from somewhere behind the house.

I assessed my position in conjunction with the vampires. I was approximately 50 feet from them. I decided it would be best if I kept my distance from them to avoid being seen as an immediate threat.

My admission of my presence here didn't have quite the reaction I'd expected. I was ready for unabashed fury, maybe a few limbs getting dismembered before I could blink an eye. Instead, I could sense uncertainty and fear rolling off of them in waves.

Admittedly, though, they _were_ angry about my intrusion, but apprehension was more dominant at the moment. Even though I was positive they had no clue about my own ability, their thoughts still seemed very careful, like they had been caught doing something naughty, but were trying to pretend the opposite. This line of thought coming from all of them at once had me baffled. What was it they seemed so intent on hiding?

The group converged in front of Bella, the small spiky-haired girl wrapping her arms around Bella's frame and tugging her toward the house. Bella followed her lead reluctantly. This made me a tiny bit smug. Just before she disappeared into the house I caught another glimpse of her face. She seemed concerned and wary. Her eyebrows were knitted together and confusion was evident on her features.

The brawny one, Emmett, stepped up to the plate then, acting as overprotective big brother to Bella.

"Really?" he sneered, folding his arms across his chest to emphasize the giant muscles in his arms. "And what exactly is it that you want with my baby sister, _dog_?" He made the slander sound like a curse word.

"It's…complicated," I hedged, not wanting to give away too much information. I wasn't sure how much, if anything, they knew of imprinting, and I wasn't comfortable sharing any of my pack's secrets with a bunch of vampires, regardless how upset I was at my brothers.

Another reason for my hesitation was chagrin. I was sure it wasn't every day that dangerous bloodsucking vampires had admirers knocking on their door and professing undying love for one of them. But perhaps I wrong about that, too. It seemed I had been wrong about a lot of things lately. Maybe I was losing my touch.

"Complicated?" the one called Rosalie spat incredulously. "I'll tell _you_ what's complicated. It's how we're going to have to explain to the rest your _mutt_ friends why your body washed up dead somewhere. Though I suppose they may not care, considering _you're_ about to break the treaty first." She smiled at me, but it wasn't an inviting gesture. Her eyes were cold and hard, and she was already going through different scenarios in her head of the best way to dispose of my corpse.

I winced at her train of thought and tried to consider my options. I had to get this situation under control, and fast, or I really _would _be mince meat.

"Please just listen," I pleaded, trying to distract them from the idea of causing me bodily harm. "I don't want any trouble. I just need to talk to you."

"About Bella," said Jasper skeptically, eyeing me speculatively for a moment before scanning the trees behind me. He was trying to locate any other wolves that might be hiding in the forest.

"Yes," I sighed tiredly. "And you're not going to find anyone here but me. I came alone," I replied coolly, gazing toward Jasper. His eyebrows raised a fraction in surprise and disbelief, but he said nothing.

"I think you should leave," Emmett growled menacingly.

I groaned in frustration. I was getting nowhere. I wished one of them would let me speak freely for just a minute. If I could explain all this craziness, maybe they wouldn't be so defensive toward me. No, I didn't believe that. If they were as protective of Bella as they seemed to be, then my announcement was sure to only stoke the flame.

And then I thought of the one vampire in this coven that might actually lend an ear to my plight. He had acted cordial enough at last night's meeting. Perhaps _he_ would be patient enough to hear me out.

"Fine," I said curtly.

I turned my back on them, my instincts screaming at me to turn and defend with three deadly vampires standing directly behind me, and sprinted into the woods. If I couldn't get any of them to listen, perhaps Carlisle would oblige me. After all, he had been very curious about us. Maybe we could make a trade. I would provide a little mundane information about my tribe to him, nothing too revealing, and maybe he would give me a bit of information about Bella.

I felt slightly guilty about this plan, like I was betraying my pack, but I couldn't see any other way. Besides, Carlisle knew a few things about our species to begin with, so I didn't see how it would hurt to give him another tidbit or two.

I wasn't fooling myself, though. I knew that once the others found out about this, I may not survive to see banishment, but I was desperate.

I knew Carlisle was working at Forks Hospital. The second the elders had learned of the Cullens' eminent return to Forks, Sam had alerted us that the Quileute tribe was to stay as far away from the hospital as possible. My father had been incredulous about the news. He had cornered Billy Black, Jake's father, and demanded to know what everyone's problem was.

Once he'd realized just how deeply Billy had been involved in the decision, he had been furious. He'd tried to talk sense into Billy, but to no avail. He'd finally given up, though reluctantly. A few weeks following their argument, Charlie still hadn't said a word to Billy. They had eventually agreed to talk about it, due mainly to Jacob and I constantly nagging them. They were finally talking again, though it was still a bit strained.

I finally arrived at the local hospital, keeping my head down in case anyone recognized me, though I wasn't really concerned about that. I approached the nurse's desk and rapped my knuckles lightly on the counter. I didn't have the patience to wait for her to notice me.

She looked up, startled. I gave her my most winning smile.

"I'm looking for Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Is he in?"

Her eyes glazed over for a minute. She couldn't have been much older than I was, maybe twenty-three or twenty-four years old. She shook her head dazedly and answered my question shakily.

"L-Let me check for you. I just have to make a call." She held up a finger apologetically, as though she was terribly sorry to have to stop our conversation. I did the best I could to stay out of her mind, afraid of what I might see there.

After a minute on the phone, she hung up and turned to me.

"Yes, he's still here. He's on the third floor, on the east wing. Would you like me to call him and tell him you're coming up, Mr.…" She trailed off, waiting for me to fill in the blank.

"No thank you, Ms. Sivage," I responded, reading her nametag. Her face fell comically at my lack of information. "Thank you so much for your help." I gave a big smile and turned toward the elevators. Unfortunately, her thoughts became much louder as I strolled away, leaving me with very disturbing images.

Once I exited the elevator on the third floor I automatically turned right, following the directions posted along the wall. After taking many dizzying turns, I reached the nurse's station in the east wing. I quickly located another nurse. This one was much older than the first, in her mid-fifties.

Before I could say anything, she spoke.

"What can I do for you, young man?" She had a sour face, with bags under her eyes. She looked exhausted. It must have been a long day.

"Hello, Doris," I responded, smiling innocently. "I'm sorry to be a bother, but I was told that Dr. Cullen was on this floor. Is there any way you can point me in his direction?"

She gave me a critical look, not impressed with me in the least.

"What's your business with the good doctor, boy? You'd better not be here to start any trouble now. Are you one of those boys from that reservation in La Push?"

I was surprised, not by her forwardness, but that she could tell where I was from. After all, I was only a fourth Quileute. My skin looked tan in the sunlight, but I still looked white. I didn't have the dark russet skin that the rest of the pack possessed.

Well, there was no point in lying to her. I could tell she was a no-nonsense kind of gal.

"Well, I _am_ from the reservation, yes. But I'm not here to cause trouble. I just wanted to speak to him about my tribe, actually. _Someone's_ got to apologize for their behavior." I looked at her penitently.

She softened just a little.

"Well, I suppose. But if you put one toe out of line I'll call security, understand?"

"Yes, ma'am. I promise I'll be good." I stood and saluted her. Her lips twitched, trying to hide a smile. Then she motioned her head to her left.

"Go that way to the end of the hall. Take a right and his office is second on the left."

"Thanks, Doris. I owe you one," I replied fervently. I meant every word.

I followed her instructions until I was outside the second door on the left. Across the glass was written DR. CARLISLE CULLEN in professional lettering. I took two deep breaths to calm myself before I knocked on the door.

"Come in," he called. "It's open."

I opened the door slowly and let myself in. I looked at him cautiously, knowing he would be surprised to see _me_ entering his office. I wasn't disappointed.

"Oh," he said, shocked. It took him half a second to compose himself. He placed a polite smile on his face, though it didn't touch his eyes. "How may I help you, son?"

"Carlisle," I greeted, nodding my head politely in his direction. "I'm sorry to barge in on you like this. I know you weren't exactly expecting _me_."

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He was apprehensive what this visit might mean. He had already heard that the rest of the tribe had sworn off coming to this hospital because he was working here.

"Please don't be alarmed. I'm not here to cause trouble." I repeated the words I'd spoken only minutes before to Doris.

"Is everything alright? Where's--" he paused, thinking over the words he was about to speak. He didn't want to come across accusingly. "Was someone hurt?" _My family?_

"Everyone's fine. No one's hurt," I answered, trying to reassure him. It seemed to help. "I just have a few questions, and I think you're the only one that can answer them."

He was apprehensive of my request, but also curious about what it was I wanted from him. I took another deep breath and continued.

"Before I ask my questions of you, I want to make it perfectly clear that I will use nothing against you or your family. I know that this treaty between your coven and my pack is sketchy at best, and I am not here to encroach on that in any way. However, there has been an…incident…in the past twenty-four hours that you and I need to discuss."

"Incident?" he asked, bewildered.

"Well, for lack of a better word, yes. I suppose _occurrence_ works, too. I'm not sure how much of our legends you've read, but that's why I'm here now."

"You're here to speak to me about your legends?" he asked cautiously, trying to see where I was going with all of this.

"Yes," I murmured, looking down at his desk, suddenly unsure about my plan. "But first, I need you to answer my question. How much do you know about our legends?"

"How about we start with names first? You know that I'm Carlisle. What's your name?" He waited patiently for me to answer.

I smiled slightly at his request. Apparently this was going to be a two-way street.

"I'm Edward. Edward Swan," I said, holding out my hand for him to shake. He hesitated for a moment, before reaching out to take mine. I winced slightly. His hand was like ice.

"Swan?" he repeated. He was linking my last name to the last name of the Chief of Police.

"Yes, he's my father," I said absentmindedly, forgetting momentarily that he didn't know about my gift. He picked up on my mistake.

"How did you know what I was thinking?" His eyes narrowed suspiciously.

I debated lying to him. After all, we were still on opposite sides of the line here. But I decided against it. I wanted his cooperation, and starting off with lies would get me nowhere. Besides, if this worked according to plan, he'd find out soon enough anyway.

I smiled sheepishly. "Well, that's sort of _my_ gift. Kind of like Alice's visions of the future or Jasper's ability to control emotions."

His eyes widened until they would have been in danger of falling out of his head if he hadn't been a vampire.

"How--How did you know about that?" he stammered.

"My gift," I replied simply, though it was anything but simple. I decided I'd better elaborate. "I can read minds."

His eyes got impossibly wider. "You can _read minds_?" he choked.

I nodded my head, and continued. "It started after the first time I transformed. We don't know why, but it seems to be linked to me being a werewolf."

His eyes were no longer wide. They were now calculating. In his head, he was going through possible scenarios that might cause such an anomaly. After a few moments, when nothing concrete came to his mind, he decided he would file it away for later.

"Forgive me. I wasn't expecting that. I'd never read about something like this in your legends."

"So you _do_ know our legends? Well, I suppose that will make this easier, then."

I had his full attention again. His previous caution with me had evaporated, replaced instead with a burning curiosity.

"Yes, I have. Many of them are strange. They've always fascinated me." His eyes were alight with excitement.

"Well, there's one in particular I wanted to talk to you about today. It's about…imprinting. Have you ever read about that legend?"

I watched his expression as well as his thoughts to see if this sounded familiar. He immediately understood what I meant. All of the information that pertained to a werewolf's way of finding his or her soul mate was floating on the surface of his mind.

"Yes, I know of that one," he answered. "What would you like to know?"

"Well, that's the thing," I mumbled, lowering my head in embarrassment. "I'm here to talk about…Bella." I didn't look up, but I saw his mind.

For half a second, his mind was blank. Then it went into overdrive. The first picture I saw was a memory of himself and a woman in her mid-to-late twenties. She had caramel-colored hair and a petite frame. The next was of the same woman, only she looked terrible, sick. Her stomach was bloated and blotched with purple bruises. There was pain in this memory, sheer agony from Carlisle.

This was followed by a corpse, or what appeared to be a corpse, lying on a surgical table. There was blood everywhere. Her stomach was ripped open and her body was limp. Carlisle was working over her furiously, holding a large needle and pumping something clear into the woman's heart. It switched abruptly to him holding a small baby with dark hair and chocolate brown eyes, with what appeared to be the same caramel-haired woman, only much more beautiful, beside him.

The next picture showed Bella, the way she looked now, looking at him adoringly.

I understood. I knew the images I had just been shown would haunt me until the day I died. I felt sick. I wanted to vomit, but I realized that there was nothing in my stomach. I hadn't eaten since Jake's house the evening before. My stomach rolled with nausea. I leaned over and put my head between my legs to ease the cramping sensation.

I looked up once I was sure I wouldn't upset Carlisle's office. He was watching me fearfully, knowing that I had seen everything.

"She's your daughter," I croaked, my mouth filling with bile. "Your flesh-and-blood daughter."

"Yes," he whispered.

"And the woman, that was Esme, your wife, correct?"

"Yes."

"_How?_ How is it possible? You're a vampire. I mean, you can't…reproduce. How did this happen?"

He frowned. I could tell he really didn't want to talk to me about this, but he trudged on, because he knew it was too late. I had already seen too much.

"I didn't think we could, either." He sighed. "This is a very long story, and my shift at the hospital is over. I was just finishing some paperwork when you knocked on my door. Perhaps we could continue this in my car, hmm?"

I nodded and rose from my chair. I stretched and made my way toward the door. He packed up his things at incredible speed and turned off the light. After we made our way outside, getting numerous stares from the nursing staff, directed at both Carlisle and myself, we got into his car. We had to lower the windows. The stench was nearly unbearable for both of us, though Carlisle was too polite to admit it aloud.

Once he started the engine, he continued the story. "I fell in love with Esme when she was still human. She was an intern at the time. She worked under me. I tried to resist my feelings for her, but it didn't take me long to realize this was impossible." He smiled fondly at the memories.

"I worked for centuries to control my thirst for blood. I've been in very good control of myself in many ways for a very long time, so it was easy for me to be in close proximity to her. Don't get me wrong. I never…we never…" He trailed off in embarrassment. "Well," he went on hastily. "We were married not long after. I loved her dearly…

"She started acting strange a couple of weeks or so after we got married. Strange dreams, weird food cravings, that sort of thing. One day, she realized that she wasn't on schedule. She swore to me that she had felt something _move_ in her stomach. When she lifted her shirt to take a look, there was a bump. It had only been two weeks, but we quickly realized she was pregnant. I mean, what else could it have been?"

I could feel the pain of his memories, though he realized everything would turn out fine. Those were the darkest days of his existence, believing that he would lose his true love.

"I nearly lost her," he choked, his voice ragged with the pain. "But I managed to save her just in time. And Bella. She was beautiful. More than we could have hoped for. I never would have dared to dream that I would be so happy. And, of course, the rest of my family loves her just as deeply." He had a huge smile plastered on his face. I couldn't help but smile in return.

I took note of my surroundings, realizing he had pulled to the side of the road.

"Where are we?" I asked

"Oh, we're a few miles from my home. I thought we would finish this conversation first. Then, afterward…" He wasn't sure how to finish the sentence. He wanted to invite me, but he didn't want to offend me. Suddenly, he remembered that I was able to read minds. He grinned sheepishly, leaving the invitation open.

"Thank you, Carlisle. But you may not want to invite me once you realize why I came to visit you."

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Then they smoothed out when he remembered our previous exchange.

"Imprinting," he replied automatically. I watched apprehensively as his eyes darkened when he remembered the original reason he had told me the story about his love affair and how Bella had come to be.

"Wait. Are you trying to tell me this is about _Bella_? Did you imprint on her? Is that what you were saying?" He wasn't exactly angry, but he wasn't happy about it, either. He was going into overprotective mode.

"I'm afraid that's exactly what I'm saying, Carlisle. I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen. It was something I couldn't control."

He considered this, remembering that this was how imprinting worked. He could find no fault in me. Granted, he wasn't ecstatic about the idea, but he couldn't find a good reason to blame me.

I looked up and shot him a grateful grin. "Thank you for understanding."

He smiled briefly and went back to business.

"Now, what do you plan to do about it?"

"Well, that's why I came to you. I actually went by your house today after school, but, well, let's just say I didn't receive the most friendly welcome."

"Ah, I am sorry about that. My family can be very protective of each other."

"Please, there's no need to apologize. I'm a werewolf, after all. We're supposed to be sworn enemies." I laughed bitterly at that statement, hating how true it was. After conversing with Carlisle for the few hours, it had occurred to me that all of the animosity between us was for naught. We could live peaceably, if we could just get over our prejudices.

Carlisle was agreeing with my silent revelation without realizing it. For him, at least, there had never been any aversion to the werewolves. Everything he had done, from creating the treaty to complying to all of its standards, had been done for our benefit more than his. He respected our people greatly.

He had gotten back on the road, and I could now see the large white house just beyond the trees.

"What are you doing?" I asked Carlisle in a panic. His family had been prepared to tear my eyes out earlier. I was sure they hadn't changed their minds.

"Well, something tells me that you didn't come to visit me and tell me about your…attraction…to my daughter just to walk away once your story was told. I had assumed that this was your intention all along, to be able to talk with her about it, yes?" He smirked at my panicked expression and walked toward the house. I had been so terrified that I hadn't noticed him get out of the car. He turned back to look at me.

"Edward, are you coming?"

"Um," I gulped. I couldn't breathe. It wasn't the vampires that had me nervous either. Though I had seen her a total of two times since yesterday, I had yet to speak to her, or hear her voice. What if, once I explained everything to her, she refused me? What if she turned me away?

I was abruptly angry with myself. Ever since I _had_ seen her, all I had been able to think of was her. I had been coveting this meeting with her. Was I now going to waste my opportunity due to a simple case of _nerves_? And I thought I had more backbone than that.

I hopped out of Carlisle's black Mercedes and squared my shoulders. I would _not_ ruin this chance.

I nodded my head in determination. Carlisle was still watching me. "I came this far," I said aloud, talking more to myself. "There's no way I'm turning back now."

As I walked toward the front door, I could feel my confidence building. She would believe me. She would understand. I had no reason to worry. After all, she _was _my soul mate. What did I have to fear?

_************************************************************************_

_Ok, this is my longest chapter yet. I normally stop at 4 or 5 pages, but I couldn't bring myself to do that this time. I also couldn't see any good reason to separate this chapter into two separate chapters, considering it would all be read at once anyway. I wrote it as one chapter, and that was the way I wanted to keep it._

_Also, I know it has taken a while for this impending meet-and-greet (sorry for the blasé reference) to happen between Edward and Bella. But I can promise you that it WILL happen in Chapter 7. I haven't been working up to it slowly to annoy anyone. I really wanted this story to make sense, to be believable in the Stephenie Meyer world. That's not something that can be rushed. Plus, I'm a bit OCD. I need perfection, and a story with two many holes and not enough explanations is the complete opposite of OCD behavior._

_Once again, thank you to all those who reviewed, and added me to their favorites list, and added me to their alert list. I really appreciate it. You guys are amazing. Not a bad review yet. But if you have a bad review that you're just itching to send me, I take those too. Just please review._

_Also, I'm a very religious person. I'm not saying that so I can get flamed for my beliefs. I'm merely saying that so that when I write my parting line, no one will take offense. I love the Lord and I live to serve him. So no one will find any cursing or vulgar behavior in my story. Sorry if this disappoints you, but I just don't believe in adding things like that to my story. I'm not saying anything about others' stories. I'll still read the ones that have bad language, as long as it's not too over-the-top. Sorry, I'm rambling. Exhausted, it's after midnight._

_Now, all that to say this: May the Lord bless you and keep you from harm. Much love._


	7. First Meeting

**Chapter 7**

**EPOV**

When I stepped in the door of the Cullen house, I was immediately staring into the eyes of three incredulous vampires. They had heard the entire conversation between me and Carlisle outside. They couldn't believe that Carlisle would allow a _mutt _to come into their home.

"Ew. What's that _smell_?" Rosalie said scathingly, eyeing me with disdain. "Someone put the dog out."

Jasper looked at Carlisle, wondering silently if his 'father' had lost his mind. He had allowed an enemy to cross into their own territory, even to set foot into their _house_. He felt the emotions surrounding Carlisle, searching for apprehension or fear, anything to indicate that this was a trap. When the only thing he registered was calm and serenity, he turned toward me, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. He didn't trust me. Of course.

Emmett was just hoping for some action. He was bored, thinking a good fight would cut through some of the tedium of everyday life. The fact that I was a werewolf was just a bonus.

"Bella. Esme. Alice," Carlisle whispered quietly, knowing he would be heard. "Could you come down here, please?"

His eyes were searching the top landing of the stairs. I turned my head in the same direction, but saw nothing at first. Just as I was about to turn back toward Carlisle, Bella appeared at the top of the stairs with the little vampire, Alice, shadowing her footsteps. A few steps behind the two of them was Esme, looking exactly as she had in Carlisle's memory when Bella was a baby. Alice was eyeing me cautiously, but not suspiciously, like the others. Esme looked to Carlisle for reassurance. When he smiled warmly at her, she relaxed. However, they weren't my priority.

I had to remind myself to breathe. Bella was exquisite. Every time I looked at her, which now added up to a grand total of three times, I was shocked by her beauty.

Jasper stared at me dubiously. _He's a werewolf. What is he doing?_

I felt the corner of my mouth twist up slightly at his train of thought. He didn't miss it, but he said nothing.

Bella walked cautiously down the stairs, her eyes never leaving her father, not even to glance toward the newcomer. Her face was full of questions, though I could only guess at what those questions might be.

When she was beside her father, she merely turned her head gently to the side in a gesture of curiosity. She still didn't speak. Surely she should have said something by now.

"Bella, I would like you to meet someone." He waved his hand in my direction. She finally looked at me. Her gaze was scrutinizing. I felt like I was under a microscope. My skin felt hot and prickly.

"Bella," Carlisle chided her. He sounded as though he were reprimanding her for something, though she'd done nothing more than look at me. "He's a guest. That's not polite."

She gazed down at the carpet beneath her feet and blushed. I shivered. That blush nearly became my downfall. I had to remind myself that I was in a house full of vampires, that this was my first meeting with the dark-haired beauty. It would not be sociable or prudent to rub the back of my hand gently across her cheek and feel the warmth of that blush.

Jasper was getting uncomfortable.

She looked back at me sheepishly, holding her hand out for me to shake. I didn't want to merely shake that hand. I took it caressingly in my right hand and placed a light kiss on the back of it. She _was_ warm, as warm as me. Interesting. Her blush deepened.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you," she said timidly, her eyes searching the carpet again.

I released her hand reluctantly. It felt like there was something stuck in my throat. I cleared it.

"I'm Edward. And it's a pleasure to meet you as well." Pleasure didn't even cover it. I was ecstatic.

"Carlisle?" Jasper choked, slightly panicked. "Could I speak to you in private please?"

Carlisle's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He looked toward me, wondering what I must be feeling that had Jasper so worried.

"Of course, Jasper. As a matter of fact, why don't we all convene in the dining room? There are a few things that need to be discussed."

The group had been watching Jasper and Carlisle converse like a tennis match, back and forth. They all followed him warily, including Bella. Carlisle turned to face her.

"Why don't you and our guest stay here for a moment, honey? We won't be long," he replied pleasantly, giving her a fond smile.

Bella raised her eyebrows delicately, but she nodded and watched her father go without complaint.

Once they were all in the dining room, I cast a sidelong glance at Bella.

"So, would you like to step outside for a little fresh air?" I really needed to get out of here. The stench was nearly unbearable. She frowned slightly.

I berated myself for asking such a stupid question. Of course she would say no. She didn't even know me.

"Yes, please," she replied gratefully.

I was taken aback by her answer. I smirked at her eagerness and led the way outside. The sun was shining. It was a rare occurrence. The light sparkled wetly off the leaves.

When I looked back at her, she had her face turned toward the sky and her eyes were closed. The sun shining on her skin made her look surreal, like some sort of angel. Her skin didn't sparkle the way it normally would have if she had been a full vampire. I could, however, see a faint glow to her skin tone. It was truly breathtaking.

She lowered her gaze to me and grinned.

"You know," she began conversationally, "I've never seen Jasper so bothered before. He's normally a very mellow person. Something really has him in an uproar."

She eyed me shrewdly. "That wouldn't have anything to do with you, now would it?" Hmm, she was being playful. Well, I could be coy, too.

"I really have no idea what you mean. He seemed perfectly normal to me."

She narrowed her eyes, but I could see the ghost of a smile playing around her lips.

"Well, whatever it is, I hope it blows over. I don't like seeing him upset."

I had to suppress the jealous rage that passed over me. What was wrong with me? He was like a brother to her. Of course they would worry about each other. If I ever wanted her to trust me, I could not start getting territorial, especially when it came to her family. Their need to protect her was just as strong as mine.

"Hey, are you alright?" she asked, eyeing me warily.

"I'm fine, Bella. Just tired." As I said the words, I realized just how true they were. I hadn't slept in over twenty-four hours. I felt the exhaustion sweep over me and plopped heavily on the front step.

"You look exhausted. What happened to you?" Her eyes were shining with concern. I was secretly smug.

"Nothing. It's just been a while since I slept. It's nothing." I tried to give her a reassuring smile. She didn't seem convinced.

"Do werewolves not believe in sleep or something?" she teased.

"Honestly, no. Not much. Patrolling and such. It takes a lot out of us."

"Patrolling what? Oh, right. Looking for vampires." She realized a beat too late what she had said, and her face turned chagrined. I laughed.

"Yes, vampires. The bad ones, anyway."

"I was under the impression that werewolves thought we were _all_ bad," she replied.

I couldn't tear my gaze away from her as I responded.

"No. No, they're not all bad," I whispered.

She held my gaze.

"Do you think _I'm_ a monster?" she asked quietly.

"_Never_," I vowed, trying to express just how fervently I disagreed with such a heinous concept of her supposed monstrosity without using words. Away from the house, surrounded by vampires, I could smell her exquisite scent. The same lavender and freesia scent that had wafted toward me at the school.

How had our conversation turned so intimate? Was this part of the whole imprint thing? I had thought that it would still take time to get to know her, but I couldn't believe how comfortable I already was with her, like we'd known each other for years, and not mere minutes.

That reminded me of Sam and Emily. Sam had walked away from a committed relationship with Leah because he imprinted on Emily. There was remorse, of course, and pain, but it wasn't able to hold him. Only Emily had that power. When Emily finally acknowledged her love for Sam, it was as if they had never been apart. Like Leah had never been in the picture. Like they had been together forever. This was the way it felt with Bella.

Thinking of Sam had also reminded me about something else. Hadn't Sam forbidden exactly this? He had forbidden me not to see Bella, and here I was looking at her. He had forbidden me to go nowhere near her, and here she was sitting next to me, sitting so close that I could feel her body heat. And, if I remembered correctly, he had told me not to speak to her. Obviously, that had not held up either. It appeared that Sam _couldn't_ order me to stay away from Bella. A direct order from the alpha was negated when it involved the wolf's imprint. This was good to know.

"Edward? Edward?" Bella was watching me warily, her hand held up like she was considering touching my shoulder, or waving her hand in my face. Maybe she thought I was having some sort of fit and was going to slap me.

I laughed in embarrassment.

"Sorry. I kind of zoned out there, didn't I?"

"Wow. You must be really tired."

"No, I was just thinking about something."

"Would it be too forward if I asked what that something was?" she asked timidly.

I considered. How much was too much to tell her? If I told her the truth, would she freak out? I refused to even consider lying to her.

"Are you sure you want to know? The story's a bit…involved."

She turned a fraction toward the house, listening. My ears perked up. It sounded as though they were still discussing things.

"Well, I've got time. Why don't we go for a walk?" she suggested.

I smiled and nodded. I wanted privacy for this story, and I knew that would be impossible sitting next to a house full of vampires.

We walked for a few minutes in silence. Well, _walked_ wasn't exactly the right word. Being a mythical creature with inhuman speed tended to make regular walking a bit tedious. I supposed a healthy sprint would have been closer to the mark.

When we were a good distance from the big white house beside the river, we decided to slow down. We found a fallen tree, covered with moss. She found a spot to sit, and I sat next to her.

"So, this story. You know, the one's that's so…involved," she chimed, raising her eyebrows up and down conspiratorially. "Is it a good one?"

I laughed. "I suppose you could say that."

"Is there action? I love a story with action."

"Well, yes. There's a bit of action. There's also some romance, a bit of heartache, and lots of supernatural stuff, too."

"Hmm. Well, that does sound interesting. Alright, you have my attention." She straightened up with the air of an avid listener. I chuckled and sat up straighter in response.

"Well, I'm not really sure where to start."

"The beginning's usually the best way to go," she replied slyly.

"That would make it awfully long, you know."

"Perhaps, but like I said before, I have time."

I sighed. The beginning. The first time I phased seemed to be a good place to start. I settled into my spot more comfortably and began to tell her my story.

_I know this chapter is a tad bit short, but Edward's story is going to be very long, just as I promised. I want his story in a chapter all to itself._

_Once again, please review. I'll take the flames with the praises. I like a little healthy criticism._


	8. What I Am

Chapter 8

EPOV

"I was sixteen when we came home. My mother was raised on the reservation. When she met my father, she convinced him to run away with her. She wanted to escape small town life. She hated it here."

"Well, if she hated it so much, what convinced her to come back?" asked Bella.

"Me," I replied simply.

"You? I don't understand."

"She wanted me to be closer to our people. She wanted me to know my heritage. Unfortunately, I got a little more insight into my heritage than she'd intended," I said bitterly.

"So, you don't like being a wolf?" she asked timidly.

"I didn't at first. But it's not so bad now," I whispered, meeting her gaze.

"And what changed your mind?"

"I'm getting to that. You're jumping too far ahead." I chuckled.

"Oh, sorry. I'll be quiet now and let you finish your story."

"Well, I was born about a year after my parents moved. My father had tried to talk her into coming home, letting the family see the new baby, but she was sure that, if they did, she would never be able to escape again. She just knew that once they saw me, they'd do everything in their power to keep them from leaving. I suppose she wouldn't have been wrong there. They would have wanted me close, just in case. After a while, my father gave up trying to change her mind.

"We moved back to Washington a little over a year ago. We had been living in Phoenix. My mother loved the sun, the heat, but she was worried about me. She felt like she was depriving me of my heritage by keeping me away from our people. When I tried to her tell that I was happy, she wouldn't listen.

"I did everything I could to convince her that I didn't want to go. I even told her I'd research my lineage online. She told me it wasn't the same thing. She said I needed to be around my people to truly grasp the 'majesty' of it all." I rolled my eyes.

"I take it she doesn't believe the old legends?" Bella asked.

"No. She didn't put any stock into them. She just wrote them off as fairytales. Harmless bedtime stories, but nothing more."

She nodded her head in understanding, then folded her hands in her lap in rapt attention.

"My father was ecstatic, of course. He had agreed to leave with my mom to make her happy, but he had missed his friends and family. Sure, he would call them every week to check in, but it wasn't the same. He missed March Madness at Billy's house, and get-togethers and Harry' place. He was glad to be going home, so of course he was no help when I begged him to make Mom reconsider.

"After we arrived, the whole town was abuzz. They couldn't wait to meet Renee's sixteen-year-old son. Suddenly, I was a novelty." I shook my head disgustedly at the memory.

"I settled in pretty quickly, and things seemed to go back to normal. I went to school on the reservation, made a few friends. I met Jacob. He's my dad's best friend's son. We got along really well. It didn't take long before we were doing everything together. He's a very easy guy to be around. We've been best friends practically since I set foot on the rez.

"One day, though, when I went over to see Jake, Billy stopped me at the door. He told me Jake was really sick and that I couldn't see him, that no one could. No matter how many times I called, or came by, I was never allowed to talk to him or see him. After a few weeks, Jacob showed up at school. He looked different. He was too big, too bulky, like he'd spent the last several weeks lifting weights nonstop. When I tried to corner him, to see how he was doing, he wouldn't talk to me. Not a word.

"He looked angry all the time now. I was worried he had gotten in with a bad crowd, maybe even doing drugs. It freaked me out. That's when the rumors started to fly. I found out that Jacob was hanging out with Sam Uley and his gang of cronies. They had a reputation among the kids around the reservation of being showoffs and troublemakers. When me and a couple of the other guys told our parents about it, they got concerned and decided to speak with the elders. My dad was one of them.

"I remember, when my dad came back from the council meeting, he seemed reassured. He didn't tell me much, only that Sam was a good kid who was doing a lot to help the community. He told me that I shouldn't be worried about Jacob, because he was just doing his part for the tribe.

His words had the opposite effect that he was hoping for. Instead of being happy for Jacob, I was now scared for him. Had he been dragged into some weird cult? It was like the children of the corn. It was creepy, how strange things were happening to some of the young boys and the adults seemed completely oblivious to it all.

"What scared me even more was that I was starting to feel weird. Really weird. I didn't feel sick exactly. Just wrong. I felt strong, like I could take on the world. My confidence seemed to skyrocket. It made me more bold to take matters into my own hands.

"I rode my bike to Jake's house. I knew that Billy would be no help, but I wasn't sure what to do next. Before I had the chance to formulate any kind of plan, I saw Jacob walking behind his house. The direction he was heading made it seem like he was coming out of the woods. I decided to confront him. He seemed so angry. I was terrified for him. I tried to talk to him, to get him to see reason. I wasn't sure how reverse a brainwashing, but I had to try.

"He told me to leave, that I didn't belong there. He said a lot of things like that. I didn't listen. Maybe I should have, but I doubt it would have mattered. It was too late for me." I took a shaky breath. This was the hard part. I could still remember the terror and the pain I had felt that day.

"Edward, what's wrong? Are you alright?" Bella asked, breaking me from my reverie. I turned to look at her, thankful to have her sitting next to me.

"I'm fine. That was just a bad day for me. One of the worst I've ever experienced." I shuddered but tried to give her a reassuring smile. From the look on her face, it probably came out as a grimace.

"I'm not sure if it's what I said to him next that lit the fuse, or if it was the fear I felt. It was such a blur, everything happening so fast that I thought my head was going to pop off."

"What did you say to him?" she asked.

"I said, 'What's happening to me, Jake? Am I next?' The look on his face when he turned around filled me with terror. He was horrified. Something had him scared senseless.

"'No,' he had whispered. 'It can't be. Why is this happening? This shouldn't be happening anymore. Not you, too.'

"I was so scared I started shaking. Or, I had thought it was fear that was making me shudder and convulse. I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. I couldn't seem to hold myself together. The shaking became more violent. Everything was blurring around me. I felt a sharp pain run down my spine. My body felt like it was literally being ripped apart."

I winced at the memory. I felt a light touch on my shoulder and smiled at her gratefully.

"When the shaking finally stopped, I was confused. I was higher from the ground than I should have been. I couldn't see Jake. Instead, there was a huge russet wolf standing next to me. My thoughts were too jumbled to make sense of anything at first. My body refused to relax. I felt trapped. When I tried to speak, all I could hear was a pitiful yowling sound. It took me a moment to realize that the sound was coming from me.

"Suddenly, I heard voices everywhere. No, I don't suppose 'voices' is the right word, because no one was speaking. It was all inside my mind."

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I don't understand. You heard voices?" She didn't say it like she thought I was crazy. She just acted curious.

"It's a werewolf thing. When we're in our wolf form, we can hear each other's thoughts. It comes in handy in a fight."

"Oh. That makes sense, I suppose. Please, continue."

"Alright. Well, I soon realized that the big russet wolf was actually Jake. I remember that he howled really loud. It made my hair--er, fur--stand on end. I knew through our link that he was calling the other wolves.

"Nothing made sense for a while. All I could feel was the pain and terror of what I had become. The others explained it to me. They shared their own stories of how they transformed. It didn't make me feel any better. I _hated_ what I had become. I was a monster, a freak. I suppose I'm still a monster."

"No," she whispered. "No, you're not. Or, if you are, then so am I. I mean, it's not like you go around killing people, is it?"

"And how would you know that?" I asked her, hating myself even more for her calm reassurances.

"My father," she said simply. "He would never make a treaty with anyone who would condone killing innocent humans. This tells me that you must be good."

"Good," I mumbled. "No, I'm not good. Though you're right. We don't kill people. It's our job to protect them."

"You see? Monsters don't protect. They destroy things. You can't really fit into the monster category." She smiled warmly, willing me to believe her. And I did. More that, anyway, _she_ didn't believe I was a monster. I still knew what I was.

"Thank you," I replied softly. "But back to the story."

"Oh, yes. Of course. I'm sorry I keep interrupting you."

I chuckled at her. "It's fine. At least I know you're paying attention."

She nodded fervently and gave me a small smile, her lips pressed together to keep from talking again.

"Well, the…voices…were talking to me, trying to reassure me. They were showing me what it had been like when they changed, that this was normal, that I would be fine. Sam, the leader, showed me what had happened to him the first time he phased. He showed me that it had taken him weeks to change back. Sam had been alone during his transformation, so he didn't know how to do it. It took him some time to realize that relaxing was the key. Calm yourself enough and you can go back to your human form.

"It was a long process, but eventually I was able to change back. It didn't take me as long as most of the rest of them. Only about three days. But I think that had more to do with my best friend than any ability on my part.

"Once I was able to control myself enough to turn back, Jake took me to his house. He explained a few things that they hadn't told me when I was going through the transformation. He told me that I couldn't tell anyone, _anyone_, what I had become. He apologized for leaving me hanging for so many weeks, but that they had all been forbidden to reveal the secret to anyone.

"I forgave him, of course. It wasn't his fault. Eventually we fell into a rhythm. Patrol, eat, patrol, eat, and maybe throw some sleep somewhere in there. My parents began to think the same things about me that I had once thought about Jacob. You know, the drugs and stuff. But they never said anything. They were afraid that if they pushed too hard, I would run away or something else equally as drastic--"

"Wait, wait," she interrupted me. "You said that they never said anything. Ever?"

I shook my head

"Well, if they never said anything to you, how did you know that that was what they were thinking? Or did you just assume because of Jacob?"

"Yeah, um," I stuttered. I'd forgotten about that. "You see, I differ from my brothers in more than just my skin tone. For some reason--and none of us have been able to figure out why--my transformation caused some sort of reaction in me that was unheard of in the history of our tribe. Before my change, I was just like any other teenager out there, but afterward, I found that, even in my human form, I could hear thoughts. And not just the thoughts of my pack. I was able to hear _everyone_."

She gulped loudly. "E-everyone?" she stammered.

I smirked as I realized what she must be thinking. I didn't have to read her mind to figure out this one. It was written all over her face.

"Ok, _almost_ everyone's," I amended, "though there are exceptions. Well, _one_ exception."

"_One_ exception?" she repeated. "I don't understand."

I watched as her eyebrows puckered together in consternation. She was adorable, like a kitten. I laughed genially.

"Let me explain. For the past year and a half, not a single person that I have crossed paths with has been able to hide their thoughts from me. Until you, that is."

"Me?" she squeaked, perplexed.

"Yes, you. Ironic, isn't it?"

"You've lost me again. How is that ironic?"

"That's another wolf thing. It's called imprinting. Have you heard of it?"

She shook her head.

"Imprinting is how a werewolf finds their mate. Their soul mate. All it takes is one glance. You just have to _see_ that person, and then the---magic, I guess you could call it--happens. Suddenly, it's like she's the only thing holding you to this world. Gravity no longer has any meaning. Nothing and no one has any meaning anymore besides that person."

With each word I spoke, her eyes grew wider with some emotion I couldn't place. Worry? Disbelief?

"Bella? Are you alright? Did I scare you?" I eyed her warily, not sure what to do.

She took a few deep breaths and seemed to relax gradually.

"No, no. I'm alright. You just surprised me, that's all." Then she laughed loudly. "I guess I see what you mean by irony. It does make sense, though, if you think about it."

"How so?" I asked, relieved to see that she hadn't freaked out. Maybe this could work after all.

"Come on. I mean, if you were inside my head all the time, what kind of--relationship--" she blushed at this word, "would that be?"

"Good point. Though I _am_ curious."

"About what?" she asked, looking around herself self-consciously.

"What _are_ you thinking?"

She blushed deeply again.

"That bad?" I asked gently.

"No," she replied hesitantly. "It's just that, well, I just met you, and--"

"Oh," I said tersely, trying to not let her snub affect me. An impossible thing. "I understand. It's fine. You don't know me well at all. Perhaps it would have been more prudent if I had waited to tell you. Forgive me," I said stiffly.

"No, that's not what I meant at all. It's just, I've known you for such a short time, and already I feel so…drawn…to you. It's strange. Like there's a giant invisible magnet pulling me in your direction."

"Oh," I breathed, abruptly deflated. I was chagrined that ii had so readily jumped to conclusions. I should really let the poor girl finish a sentence. It would have saved us both unneeded embarrassment. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry I got so hasty. Please, forgive me. Honestly." I reached for her hand and placed it on my cheek tentatively. She didn't pull away.

Her hand against my face sent a shockwave of pleasure through me. It was like an electric bolt, but it was pleasant. She gasped softly, and I was pretty sure she felt it too.

We sat like that for a few minutes before I finally lowered her hand, though I didn't release it.

"So," she said, giving me a sly look. "What does your pack think about this? I _am_ a vampire, after all. Half, at least." She had a teasing glint in her eye.

"Yeah, let's just say they're not too happy about it." I gave a sharp bark of laughter, not a pleasant sound. "Actually, Sam forbade me to do exactly what I'm doing now."

His words rang in my mind.

_She's not human. She runs with our enemies. That makes her an enemy, too._

Could I turn my back on my own people, my very way of life, for this girl? I knew the answer to that question. Emphatically yes. I would mourn the loss of my pack, but she was my mate, my whole existence, and for that reason alone, I knew that I could trust her implicitly. She would never betray me. The conviction of that truth rang throughout my entire being. She was _mine_.

"He forbade you to tell me these things?"

"Well, he forbade me to even _see_ you. No contact. That was the rule. Looks like I've broken it, but I really don't care."

"And what happens if you break it?" she hedged.

"I'm not sure, really. Banishment is probably at the top of the list." I shuddered at the thought of being separated from my brothers, but I wouldn't complain. Look at what I would gain in return. It hardly seemed a fair trade.

"I see," she said softly, lost in thought.

"You see what?" I asked her.

She smiled sweetly at me, but the gesture didn't reach her eyes. Those had become as cold as stone.

"Nothing. My mind was just preoccupied."

We talked a little longer about trivial things, but she didn't seem to be paying much attention. Her focus lulled. I was pretty sure everything I'd said after the imprinting thing had gone in one ear and out the other.

Finally, becoming dismayed by her lack of interest, I stood. She saw my movement and rose with me.

"Well, I suppose I should be getting home now." Her comment was innocent enough, but it sounded too alien and unfriendly. Had I offended her? I thought back to our previous conversation and could find nothing that would cause this sort of reaction from her.

"Alright. I'll walk you home."

"No," she nearly shouted. I heard some birds take flight in the distance. She lowered her tone and continued. "No, I don't think that will be necessary. I can find my own way home," she said curtly.

"Bella?" I broached, trying to ascertain where the sudden hostility had come from.

She sighed heavily and looked to the ground, placing her hands on her hips impatiently.

"Look, Edward. It was nice talking to you, and your story is very interesting, but I just don't think that this--" she wiggled her index finger back and forth between us a couple of times, "is going to work. I'm not looking for anything right now. I think it would be better if you didn't come back."

"What?" My mouth was dry. I couldn't swallow. What was she saying?

"Please don't make this harder than it needs to be. I'm me and you're you. We're really not compatible, if you think about it. You're a werewolf. I'm a vampire. Look at the facts."

"Wait," I pleaded, my voice coming out in a croak. "Is that what this is about? I don't care that you're a vampire. Please understand me. That means nothing to me. You," I said, reaching out to caress her face. She pulled away from me sharply, but I continued. "You are the only thing that matters to me."

"It has nothing whatsoever to do with _what we are_, Edward," she said icily. Her eyes had turned to liquid stone. "I just don't _want_ to be with you. I will not be stuck with a _dog_ for the rest of my life. So, if you please, I'm going home. Don't follow me. Don't visit me. And please, don't speak to me ever again."

Her words cut more deeply into me than any knife could have penetrated. I could feel my life shattering around me. Time seemed to slow down, dragging out the agony I could feel burning away the edges of my heart.

"B-Bella, you can't do this. Please. Think about what you're saying."

"I have. I won't change my mind. I don't mean to hurt you or anything, but I just don't see any other way. You need to listen to what I am saying. _I. Don't. Want you_."

I began to shake. I tried desperately to suppress the heat that was rolling up my spine, but the inner torment was too strong to fight. My body convulsed violently. A moment too late, I realized that my hand was still outstretched toward her, and she was within reach of my fingertips.

_Run_, I tried to yell at her, but it came out in a mangled yowl. I saw her eyes widen in terror before she jumped deftly away from my rapidly extending claws. I was too tortured in that moment to be grateful for her speed and agility.

_I don't want you. I don't want you. I don't want you._ My mind couldn't block the words that were ripping through me now, tearing me with a viciousness I had never known existed.

I watched her as she backed away from me swiftly before turning and sprinting into the forest. My love. My life. Gone. Over. It was all over.

**Bella's POV**

I ran back to my house as quickly as I could. My tears were blinding me. I was vaguely surprised I hadn't run headlong into a tree yet.

But all of that took a backseat to the inner anguish I was feeling now. I had hurt him badly, torn him apart from the inside. I could see it in his eyes the moment before he phased. I knew I had destroyed him. For all of his fears of being labeled a monster, he had been wrong. _He_ wasn't the monster. I was.

Behind me, I could still hear the bloodcurdling howls, getting farther away the faster I ran. The sound tore a hole in my chest, one that I knew would remain there as long as I was separated from him. That sound would haunt me for eternity or longer.

_What have I done?_

_Alright, please tell me what you think. I'd love to hear from you._

_Also, for those of you who aren't sure about Bella, yes she is half vampire/half human. Carlisle is her biological father and Esme is her biological mother. If anyone else has any questions for me, feel free to ask._

_Thank you all for your reviews. Though I do want to say a special thank you to __**TwilightAsyra**__ for giving me a very long critique. Thank you for telling me what I needed to hear. I appreciate it very much._

_God bless and review!_


	9. Facing Your Demons

Chapter 9

EPOV

Four weeks. Four torturous, empty weeks.

That's how long it had been since I had seen her face, or smelled her scent, or felt the warmth of her skin on mine.

My hands clenched into fists where they rested on my knees. Even now, I continued to torment myself with these thoughts. I truly was a masochist.

I looked toward the ocean that I couldn't see, felt the breeze on the air that didn't touch my skin, smelled the brine of the sea that didn't reach my nostrils. Noting touched me anymore. The world had become a dark and barren place to me. It was bland, devoid of meaning. At least, that was the way it appeared to me.

Life did go on, I supposed. For others. Time continued to move forward. Babies cried. Children played. But I didn't see it, or hear it, or feel it. _Her_ face had become permanently embedded behind my eyes. Whether my eyelids were closed or open, she was always there.

Sometimes I could see her cold stone eyes staring back at me pitilessly. At other times, her face was filled with abject terror. But not love. Never love. That face was barred to me, had never been mine. And so, no matter how hard I tried to break past the barrier of cold hostility, to see even the _glimpse_ of a smile, the stony chocolate eyes remained.

It was raining today. The rainfall wasn't heavy, but it stymied any casual visitors wandering up and down the beach. It was why I had come here. No one trying to force me to make small talk, or casting me sidelong glances, commenting on my dour mood, or trying to make me feel better for their own peace of mind. It was nice to be alone, but at the same time very painful.

I knew what he wanted before his large frame ever came into view. I didn't want to talk to him. I just wanted the world to disappear. Though I didn't want to speak to him, or to anyone for that matter, I didn't move. He'd probably just follow me if I tried to run. So I stayed.

After a few minutes, Jake broke through the trees to my left. I could see him through my peripheral vision, but I didn't look up. I gave no sign whatsoever that I knew he was there.

He sat down on the opposite side of the fallen log that I was currently occupying, bleached white from the waves during high tide. His thoughts were determined.

"Edward?" he asked tentatively. He paused to see if I was going to be difficult. When I didn't make a sound, he sighed heavily and continued.

"Come on, man. Stop doing this to yourself. Why don't you just come to my place for a while? Hang out, like we used to."

He watched me carefully to see if I would respond. When I didn't even so much as bat an eyelash, he decided to try a different line of interrogation.

"Edward, look at yourself," he said harshly, gesturing to me with a flick of his wrist. "Do you have any idea what you look like nowadays? You're a mess. You look like something from Night of the Living Dead."

I remained unmoving, not even bothering to wipe the rain from my eyes.

"I can't believe you, Swan. I mean, you talk to this girl, what? One time? And now you act like you're just going to _die_ without her. She _snubbed_ you. She told you to go away, and now look at you. Cowering in a corner with your tail stuck between you legs. She's just a _girl_."

I know he hadn't _really_ meant all of those things. I knew he wasn't really upset with me. I could see that he was only trying to help me. He was just trying to get a rise out of me.

It worked.

I jumped up from the weathered log with a snarl and crouched down, ready to attack him.

"She is _not_ just a _girl_," I growled menacingly. "She's much more than some _girl_."

In the back of my mind, I was aware that I was overreacting, but I was too enraged to care enough about that. He had struck a nerve.

"Whoa, Edward, easy," he tried to soothe, holding his hands up in front of him defensively. "I'm sorry, alright? I went too far, I know that. It won't happen again. Just calm down."

I forced myself to stand upright. I could feel my lips pulled back from my teeth and I attempted to compose my facial features.

"Go away, Jacob," I whispered in a cold monotone.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that," he replied.

I snarled at him again, this time in frustration.

"I wasn't _asking_ you. I. Said. Go. Away," I spat through gritted teeth. My voice had grown deadly.

He ignored the warning. He squared his shoulders back and turned to face me head on. He wasn't about to back down.

I'm not sure what made me snap. Maybe it had something to do with the past several weeks of self-torture, constantly keeping her in my mind. Perhaps it was the sheer desperation I was feeling at that very moment. Or it could have been the incredible longing that I felt for someone who wanted nothing to do with me. Whatever the cause, I could no longer refrain myself. I didn't have the will to stop.

I lunged at Jacob.

I may have been the fastest wolf in our pack, but I had nothing on Jacob's phasing skills. Even with no fair warning, he was still able to phase quicker than me. This gave him the smallest advantage.

He tried to pin me before I had fully phased. He would have succeeded, too, if I hadn't taken a snap at his jugular. I shoved him off of me with so much force into it that I flung him into the forest, knocking down a couple of trees in the process.

By the time I caught up with him, he had already bolted up and was charging toward me. I was going too fast to move out of the way. He slammed into me, hard. For a moment, I couldn't breathe. When I was finally able to suck in a breath, I got back on my feet and we began to circle each other, snarling and snapping experimentally.

I saw what he was planning a second before he lunged, though he tried to go with his instincts alone. I rolled deftly to the side. Before he could turn and make another run at me, I jumped on his back and sank my teeth into his shoulder blade. He howled in pain and rolled over. The motion sent me flying. He took advantage of this to chomp down on my hindquarters.

Now it was my turn to howl in pain.

_Edward, STOP!_ he yelled, trying to create some distance between us. _This is crazy. Look at yourself. I'm your best friend. You have to stop._

I paused mid step, struck by his words. He was right. What was I doing? This was insanity. I had to snap out of it. I shook my head back and forth slowly, attempting to dispel some of the irrational rage. Regardless how screwed up my life had become, it didn't give me the right to take it out on Jake.

I was appalled at myself. I had attacked my best friend. He just wanted to help, but I knew there was no help for me. I was already too far gone. I backed away from him, still horrified at my behavior.

_Edward, wait. Please don't do this,_ Jacob pleaded.

_Goodbye, Jake. I'm sorry_. I turned and ran as fast as I could. I heard Jake in my mind, begging me to come back, to stop always running away, but I didn't listen. I needed to leave. I needed to get as far away from this place as possible. I couldn't stay here anymore, not with _her_ only a few miles away. It was too cruel to think that I was so close to her, and yet so far away. I would go to the ends of the earth if it would take away the pain.

I slunk stealthily toward my house, keeping under the cover of trees. I was only going to stop long enough to pack a couple of bags, then I would hit the road. I would hitchhike if I had to. I had no idea where I was going to go, but anywhere was better than here. I had thought vaguely about traveling solely as a wolf, never allowing myself to become human again, but I decided against it. I already had too many people inside my head. I didn't want the pack to know where I was, or what I was doing, the whole time I was gone. For once, I was going to have a little privacy, a luxury that I knew I didn't allow others to have in my presence.

I snuck quietly into my bedroom window. I had done this so many times in the past that the hinges didn't squeak anymore. I could hear my parents. My father was in the living room watching the Mariners game and my mother was at the computer, taking another online class. At the moment, she was attempting to learn to quilt. I found some clean clothes and dressed swiftly. I didn't have much time. In and out. Grab only the essentials.

I opened my closet and grabbed a dusty old duffel bag from the floor, the one I had used when Charlie and I used to go camping and fishing when I was a child. I felt a pang of sadness as I remembered that. We hadn't done anything together in a long time. That was my fault. I had let this…_disease_…get in the way of having a real life. I missed the old days when I could just be a teenager, when the worst thing that I had to worry about was a pimple on picture day.

I shook off the depressing thoughts and began packing everything within reach. I had to hurry. Renee was expecting me home soon. She would start calling around, and I didn't want my dad to find out that I had run away and start setting up any roadblocks before I had left town.

Just as I was about to the sling the duffel bag over my shoulder, the phone rang. My mom stood and reached for the phone.

"Hello. Swan residence," she chimed.

I was just swinging my leg over my windowsill when I heard the voice of the person on the other line through my mother's thoughts. I froze.

"Good evening, Miss Swan. Is Edward in?" he asked politely. I would know that voice anywhere. Carlisle.

"I'm sorry, he's not home right now. Could I take a message?"

I hesitated. I should run while I had the chance. There was no one stopping me, but if I stayed any longer, there would be. On the other hand, why was Carlisle calling _my_ house? Had something happened? _Bella!_ Was she alright? I felt panic clawing its way up my throat. If anything had happened to her…

That made my decision for me. I couldn't leave thinking she might be hurt. I would never forgive myself if I found out later that something awful had happened to her and I had just walked away. I threw the duffel bag back into my closet and bolted out of my room.

"It's ok, Mom. I've got it," I called before she had the chance to hang up.

"Oh," my mother gasped in surprise. "Honey, I didn't know you were home. You have a phone call."

"Thanks, Mom." I jerked the phone from her hands and rushed to my bedroom, slamming the door and locking it in one fluid motion.

"Carlisle, what's wrong?" I asked through a closed throat. The panic was making it difficult for me to speak. "Is Bella?…" I couldn't finish the sentence.

"Well, hello to you, too," he laughed genially.

I was confused. He didn't sound upset.

"We're all right, if that's what you mean," he said, the sound of a smile still in his voice.

"Er, um," I stumbled, feeling a little dizzy. Now that there didn't seem to be any immediate danger, the adrenaline was wearing off.

"How are you, Edward?" he asked, trying to help me get started, it seemed.

"I'm…" I began, then stopped. What was I? I wasn't really sure anymore. I gave him a safe answer, or, an answer I thought would be safe. "Fine."

"You're…fine," he repeated dubiously. He had caught my hesitation.

"Yeah," I replied in what I hoped was a nonchalant tone of voice. I don't think he bought it, though. I abandoned the pretenses.

"I don't mean to offend you, Carlisle, but would you mind me asking why you're calling my house?"

"I just wanted to check on you. You haven't been by the hospital lately and I wanted to see how everything was going with you."

I didn't trust him. His voice sounded too innocent. He was up to something.

"It's going fine," I said casually, playing along. "We haven't had any…visitors… for a while, besides you, so I've cashed in on some of my sick days."

"Ah, that sounds nice. I'm glad to hear it." There was an awkward silence.

"Why are you _really_ calling?" I asked him.

He laughed nervously. "No reason. I was just calling to say hello."

I sighed. I knew he was up to something. I just had to hope that he would get to it eventually.

"How's…" This was going to be hard, but since I had him on the phone, I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to do some checking of my own. "How's…Bella?"

"Oh, she's…fine," he replied airily. My heart plummeted. Of course she was fine. What else did I expect? She was the one who had turned me down.

"Oh," I mumbled, my throat constricted. "That's good."

"Yes, yes. You're fine. She's fine. Everyone's fine. I'm glad we're all so chipper nowadays." His voice held some sarcasm at this statement. My suspicion returned.

"I'm sorry?" I asked politely. I felt like I was missing something. I hated feeling out of the loop.

"I was just saying that I'm pleased that everyone seems to be doing so well." I didn't like the way he said it. His voice was full of implications, though I had no idea what he was talking about. "Although," he continued after a very short pause, "I'm curious about something, and I think you might be able to help me."

And there it was. I knew Carlisle had been driving at something. I wondered vaguely what it was he wanted. He probably wanted me to mediate some new addition to the treaty. I cringed. I didn't feel like doing any favors, but I supposed it wouldn't hurt to hear him out.

"And what is that?"

"Well, something's been bugging me for a few weeks now. Do you remember when you came to our house, and took Bella for a walk in the woods?"

I felt a block of ice lodge in my chest. Of course I remembered it. That was the last time I had seen her. That was the day I had nearly torn her to shreds. I winced. Was that why he'd called me? To threaten me?

"Yes," I whispered. My voice wasn't capable of speaking above a whisper without cracking.

"Bella didn't say much about it, but she did mention one thing that caught my attention. She said that you'd mention something about banishment."

This topic took me by surprise. I was expecting him to threaten me on pain of death to stay away from his daughter because I had put her life in danger. That would have been understandable, though pointless. She'd already made it perfectly clear that she wanted nothing to do with me.

"What about it?" I blurted.

"That's the thing. I don't know. She seemed very distraught about it, actually. She'd told me that there was a possibility of you being exiled from your pack?"

"Um, yes," I said hoarsely. I cleared my throat. "Yes, we did discuss that a little."

"Oh well. I was simply curious. I assumed you would know more about that than myself, obviously. But, as I said before, I merely wanted to see how you were doing. It was nice to speak with you again. I hope to see you soon. Goodbye, Edward."

"Goodbye," I mumbled bewilderedly, but he had already hung up.

That was…strange. I sat the phone down on my bed dazedly. What had _that_ been about? The conversation had been so confusing. What if he really was just calling to check on me? No, I don't think so. It all seemed too…choreographed, the lines being delivered perfectly by a skilled actor. It was as if he had been trying to bait me. I wasn't so slow that I didn't notice that only certain questions had received answers.

I knew all this meant something, that he had been trying to communicate something crucial to me, but I had no clue what it might be. I worked my way back through our conversation, looking for anything that might give me a clue.

The way he had said that Bella was fine had been unusual. He had hesitated, the same way I had when I had told him I was fine. That seemed to mean something. Had he been trying to imply that Bella was _fine_ in the same aspect that I was _fine_? Was she, in face, _not_ fine? But I didn't see how that could be possible, unless there was something else that was disrupting her life. I went on to the next clue.

He had mentioned banishment. It didn't surprise me that she had told her family about our conversation. It did surprise me, however, that she didn't seem to say anything about me nearly ripping her to ribbons. Why would she mention one and not the other? And Carlisle had said that the thought of my imminent exile from my brothers had upset her. Why would such a thing bother her to begin with? She never had to worry about seeing me again. In fact, why would anything that pertained to me bother her? It made no sense.

_Argh!_ I felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall. All these thoughts were swirling around my head, but I couldn't get them to fit together. What was I missing?

That's when it hit me. That crucial piece. I didn't dare to let myself hope. It was an impossible idea. A wonderful, amazing, extraordinary idea. But I had to be careful. It could so easily backfire. And I was very much in danger of hoping for the impossible. But what if…

What if she had been lying that day? What if, when she told that she didn't want me, she had actually been trying to…what? I felt I was on the verge of the something big, but from some reason, I couldn't grasp it. The possibility of imminent separation from my pack disturbed her. That's what Carlisle had said. What had I told her _exactly_?

"_He forbade me to see you. No contact. That was the rule. Looks like I've broken it."_

"_And what happens if you break it?"_

"_Banishment."_

_Oh!_ Oh, oh, oh! I had been so stupid! Of course! It was painfully obvious now. It was my fault. I had told her that I would be banished _because of her_. She thought she was to blame. How could I have been such a fool, to make her think it was her fault? No wonder she had pushed me away! But had she done it because I had offended her, or had there been another reason? Did this mean that she still wanted me, as I wanted her?

Why push away someone you want to be with? What was her reasoning behind her choice? Why would a person give up someone they cared about? Only one thing could come to mind: sacrifice. Is that what she had done? Had she sacrificed her feelings for me so that my pack wouldn't banish me? The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It was the only thing that fit. She had been trying to give me happiness.

If only she knew that such a thing was impossible. I couldn't be happy, even if I had a hundred pack brothers to come home to. She had to see that. But that was the problem. She didn't. She honestly believed that I could live without her. What a ridiculous notion!

I had to fix this, to make it right. I would do whatever it took to show her that she was all I needed, all I _would ever _need. I had to see her, and I had to see her _now_.

**Carlisle's POV**

I hung up, feeling proud of myself. I had laid the bait. Edward was a smart boy. I knew he'd figure it out. I grabbed my belongings from my desk and locked the door behind me. My work day was over, and I was ready to be home with my family.

When I arrived, Bella was in her usual spot. After she had come back from her disastrous first meeting with Edward, she had taken up residence in the attic, as far from the rest of us as she could be. She only came down when it was absolutely necessary. She would wait until she was on the verge of starvation before she would hunt, and school had become nonexistent to her.

We'd all tried to convince her to come out. Esme had tried love and affection. Rosalie had attempted the tough love approach. Emmett had tried to physically remove her. He may have succeeded if he hadn't fallen victim to Bella's famous pout. Jasper had tried to use his abilities to make her feel happier and more chipper. After his first attempt, however, I didn't allow him to try again. He had had to put forth so much effort that it had affected us all. One hour with a house full of giggling vampires singing 'I'm a Believer' was enough for me. Even Alice, whom Bella closest with among my other children, could not get her to come down.

It pained me to see my beloved daughter so tortured. She had only spoken to Edward for a short time, but it had affected her deeply. I could see how miserable she was without him. I could also tell when I spoke to Edward that he was just as miserable. His voice had cracked several times, like he hadn't slept well in ages. I was even willing to bet Alice's credit card privileges that he had become just as distant and antisocial as Bella.

Alice's eyes suddenly clouded over. When the vision was over, she placed her hands on her hips and glared at me evilly.

"Don't even think about it." She looked scary. I didn't dare argue with her, merely throwing her a repentant grin. She nodded her head in satisfaction and continued arranging the flowers in the vase.

Bella would be upset with me for what I was about to do, but I knew she would forgive me if my plan succeeded.

"Bella?" I called up the stairs. "Could you come down here, please?"

Silence. I was expecting it.

"Bella," I stated more firmly, using my 'fatherly' voice. "_Now!_"

"I don't feel well. I think I'll just stay in bed," she responded.

"_Isabella Marie Cullen_! You get down here this instant before I bring your bedroom down here to me!" I heard Esme gasp. I smiled at her apologetically. I would still do it if Bella forced my hand, but I would feel very guilty.

Thankfully, I didn't have to resort to such measures. Bella shuffled down the stairs morosely, staring at the floor. She said nothing as she came to stand beside me.

"You've been stuck in this house long enough, child," I whispered gently, placing my fingers beneath her chin and lifting her face to meet mine. I cringed at the cold, dead look I received. It was as if she wasn't even in there, like her body had become nothing more than a shell.

"We need to talk. Why don't we go for a run in the woods? It will do you some good."

Her eyes narrowed into slits. She never went into the forest unless it was vitally important. I had a sneaking suspicion that being surrounded by trees reminded her too much of her last painful encounter with Edward, though I couldn't be sure. She hardly ever spoke to anyone anymore.

She looked reluctant, but she nodded her head minutely and took a deep breath. This just seemed to confirm my theory. I took the lead, sprinting into the woods ahead of her. Now I just hoped that Edward wasn't too far gone in his own depression to realize what I had been trying to communicate to him. Phase two of my plan was about to begin.

**Alright, as always, please review. Thank you so much for all the awesome words I've received so far. God bless.**


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